More Tails of Hobo - the Littlest (and only!) MUD Dog

(Click on the part number to read previous instalments:
Part 1, Part 2 or Part 3)

Hobo stared at Seamus intently and shivered.

"We are in trouble Crazyfool, you're going to have to fight!" said Hobo.

Crazyfool was already passed out on the floor and Hobo suddenly noticed an empty whisky bottle. Hobo backed away and thought it was the end until Seamus suddenly flew out the way and hit a nearby rock, knocking himself unconscious and killing the raven.

"The raven??!!??!!" cried hobo, "noooooo!".

Another dark figure moved into the cave and before he could say anything the woman had grabbed Crazyfool and began beating him senseless.

"Where's my child support you freak!" cried Serenety.

"Oh ... erm ... man ... I spent it on beer man ..."

Hobo backed away slowly. He knew it was going to get nasty. She had the home made enema kit and he knew what that meant. He remembered a long time ago when he went to stay with another dog. Enemas!

Hobo ran and ran and suddenly stopped. Before him lay the palace of Bartle. Just as he was about to knock he heard running footsteps and a battered, bruised and limping Crazyfool ran towards him.

"Oh god. Not you again"

"Yes. You can't get in without me. Foddy knows me. I sold him some shirts. He will let me in?"

Hobo wondered what a man like Foddy would want with stuff Oxfam would burn when suddenly the great doors opened. An elderly butler opened the door and peered out.

"No vagrants!" he snapped.

"Please, let me in. I need to see the great Bartle. I need to dance for him and live like a prince here."

The butler looked at Crazyfool.

"Soup kitchen isn't on until tomorrow Mank. You know that and get out before I tell Karya you're here. She wants to know what you were doing in the coracle."

"Bloody hell. I'm outta here ..."

Crazyfool ran but slipped and fell. As he slipped down the rocky scramble, he remembered being better than this but found an old roach and began to smoke for just a few seconds until the rocks below hit his head like Po hits young boy scouts with amputated kangaroo legs.

Hobo walked into the palace. He couldn't stop thinking about prosthetic legs. He then realised why.

Richard Bartle had all his limbs amputated.

"So, you're Hobo are you?" he shouted.

"Yes sir. I want to dance for you and play with your metal limbs."

Hobo suddenly thought that this whole series of events was too mad to comprehend. He forgot who he was and began to collapse into a deep slee ...

Hours later he awoke. He was at sea. Draped over him was Karya. He was happy. He was content ... until he heard a baby crying. Looking down he saw a feeding baby with doglegs and human torso and face. He screamed ...

The End.