Survival

(Or How to Be a Tearoom Warlock, for those with recently acquired, first-time highlifes)

Now, first things first, MUD is about accruing points ... but you'll probably have noticed that such an action goes against the title of this article. It would be somewhat facile of me to suggest that the easiest way for you to survive is never to leave the t-room and end there. But many of you will find this a somewhat impractical method as it has a habit of getting in the way of that treasure swamping and mobile bashing. So, here is the scenario, you have your recently acquired warlock or even mage and you want to know how to a) survive in the suddenly hostile world you live in and b) convert your highlife into the much wanted category of a t-room warlock (or mage).

Tip 1: T-Rooming is an art

So .. you think that being a t-room highlife consists of plopping yourself into a cosy chair do you? Bah! Being a t-room character requires training and strenuous effort, if you are worried about this try sitting in the t-room with a lower-level character (a novice, for example) and try and feel your way around. There are too many different rules and caveats to go into now, that would require an article to itself, but there are some simple basics. The most urgent of these is understanding when to remain in the t-room ... for example it is understand not wishing to leaving the land when highlifes such as swordies and heroes are out there, but it is possible to take it too far and remain in the t-room when warriors are about (unless they are known highlife PK warriors!).

Tip 2: Points are points are points

Remember there are difficult things that are worth lots of points it doesn't mean the easy treasure has any less value. No, always remember that the easy-t that got you where you are today is still easy and it's still points ... So people will call you a plodder, merely laugh in their face and deposit hundreds of points worth of treasure in the swamp. There you get points with minimal risk and minimal exertion ... perfect combination.

Tip 3: Levels are everything

You'll note that sitting in the t-room all the time will draw attention to you from certain ... undesirables. (Note: most, if not all of these, will be of significantly lower level than you.) Your first steps should always be to mock and rain laughter down on their puny values and lower levels. Then point out that you could go north, but you don't need to at the moment ... after all you have ALREADY achieved much more than they have. Remember never to be enticed anywhere you don't want to go, everyone else is jealous of your achievements and successes. Perhaps point out to them that when they reach the same aloof position as you it might be possible to consider their offer.

Tip 4: It's a kind of magic ...

Casting random spells on people, will not only keep them on their toes but remind them who's boss. The key spells behind this are obviously CHANGE and INVIS. Being invisible to perfect, choose an ideal central location (I personally prefer the Elizabethan Tearoom, but the more adventurous may like the Crypt Beneath Church or Diamond Room), CHANGE and INVIS at regular intervals and walk around The Land terrorising people with pokes and tickles.

Tip 5: Points, points and wizzes

Now remember that you don't actually have to leave the t-room to participate in the points gathering scheme of things. Just place yourself in the T-Room looking a) exceptionally pleased with yourself b) exceptionally depressed or c) angry at the game ... c) is optimal only for Arch-Wizzes. Make sure if you operate either a), b) or c) that EVERYONE (and I mean everyone) knows exactly how you are feeling. Oh, and if procedure a) is in operation make heavy use of the LOVE and DANCE commands. Now just kick back, relax and wait for those hugs, kisses, dotes etc. to come rolling in. For the more patient you can always sit in the t-room all-day, Eros is bound to turn up at least once and with luck hit someone else in the room. For the more adventurous you could try hiding (with protection, of course!) in a safe room and collect survival bonuses all day (just leave the computer switched on and make coffee, go shopping etc.).

[Note the author/Muddled-Times staff takes no responsibility for you NOT surviving after reading this article ...]