Wiz Quiz!

With the slightly cold atmosphere in The Land of late, and a distinct shortage of more visible wizards and witches, I decided that perhaps the MUDII populace of today might benefit from getting to know their wizzes a little better. A legendarily ornery and secretive lot, the best way to get answers from them would be a short series of questions sent to them all, with a little assistance (and a lot of pestering) from the ever-helpful Karya.

And here are the results - a surprising 16 wizards graced us with their responses, from the old school to the present day, although sadly some of our current active wizards haven't made the roster (perhaps too busy killing mages, eh? *sniff*). Through the use of elite surveillance equipment secreted within the wizroom, I've even managed to obtain photographs of the wizards in their natural state - tremble in fear at their visages!

Without further ado, and in alphabetical order - onwards!

AGRAZAG

1) Your favourite prefix is...

tetchy

2) Where are you now?

Ummm ... at home!

3) How did you make wiz?

By surviving Dunbad for long enough to score however many points it is you need ... and finally swamping the crown.

4) In real life, you are...

Tetchy

5) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

I hate being asked awkward questions!

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AZRAEL

1) Your favourite prefix is...

Demonic. What do you mean I'm not giving you any information that QW doesn't?

2) Where are you now?

In a ditch, covered in petrol, on fire, somewhere near Albuquerque.

3) How did you make wiz?

Short answer, by entering the fountain. Long answer, check the back issues of Muddled Times circa July 2001.

4) In real life, you are...

The grand despot of a small unpronounceable eastern European country. But living in a ditch somewhere near Albuquerque. Oh yes, consistency is beneath me.

5) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

When I was nine I was shot dead by a hamster. I got better, although I now hold a lifelong grudge against my former assailant.

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AZZURI

1) Your favourite prefix is...

Supersonic :-p

2) Where are you now?

Playing EverQuest and Planetside! (sometimes at the same time!)

3) How did you make wiz?

Err... I can't remember so I'll go with the lame reply of "the same way everyone else did..."

4) In real life, you are...

Popular? Good looking? Rich? None of the above? I'll let you choose!

5) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

This one time, at band camp...

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BILLYGOAT

1) Your favourite prefix is...

Well when i first got to wiz I had a prefix that went something like Billygoat the mad wizard of fun who smells of lavender and likes pie. I liked that. Other than that I like my new prefix, happy :)

1) Your favourite prefix is...

woops

2) Where are you now?

Sitting in my big billygoat lovenest in the sky listening to Ricky Gervais and that other guy on Xfm and giggling like a muppet.

3) How did you make wiz?

I killed the dragon.

4) In real life, you are...

In real life I'm the lord of an underground goat liberation organisation who go to farms and spray logos on their walls and defecate in their wellies. I also like to ski.

5) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

Since I was a small child my auntie has called me Willy Bum Fairy (my name is Will) and until a few months ago I didn't realise that she's been insinuating that I was a homosexual. I need to have words.

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CAT

1) Your favourite prefix is...

Chessssshire my precioussss, oh yessss.

2) Where are you now?

From the rapids go ne.n.w.....j. See you there!

3) How did you make wiz?

I blackmailed Richard with polaroids.

4) In real life, you are...

World extreme ironing champion.

5) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

I run quests more or less on demand.

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DROO

1) Your favourite prefix is...

Irish.

2) Where are you now?

At home

3) How did you make wiz?

Cannon / crown / dragon

4) In real life, you are...

Full time media student

5) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

I just bought a laptop.

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FODDY

1) Your favourite prefix is...

... the one I like the best, naturally.

2) Where are you now?

In The Land, always in The Land.

3) How did you make wiz?

I scored 204,800 points having completed 8 tasks.

4) In real life, you are...

... a figment of Foddy's imagination.

5) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

My favourite bottle in The Land contains "furniture polish".

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FRUITBAT

1) Your favourite prefix is...

Slaughtering

2) Where are you now?

Behind You

3) How did you make wiz?

Killed Wdi the Warlock/Mage

4) In real life, you are...

Nobody

5) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

I'm a PK

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HAWUMPH

1) Your name is...

The result of an unfortunate obsession with all thing draconian. I just love dragons, and wanted to see if I could beat this one. She's a right challenge. And I kept hearing the name so it seemed appropriate. Hawumph!

2) Your favourite prefix is...

Onomatopoeic. It does what it says on the tin!


3) Where are you now?

In my office, in Hampton Hill, Middlesex, England, Europe. Replacing lots of modems that got fried in the storms last night (which won't be last night when this is printed but you did say now!)

4) How did you make wiz?

I assume you mean on MUDII, as opposed to MUD2.com. Basically I did seven tasks and got 204,800 points. But that's not what you want is it?

OK. After a few mages I finally hung on to one, Wiley. I was on 203,633 points, and fighting rats. Someone powerful made a comment to which my reply was, "I am going for gold!"

You see I had this obsession, not just to make wiz, but to do it by killing the dragon. Anyway I am about to set off to sea when I am attacked by something unknown. Ah, yes, a pk wizmort you are thinking. But no, it was a fearsome something, not someone.

To be precise, I had just been attacked by Matthew Kelly. (Perhaps they meant Henry Kelly, he being the host of the show in question ;-) -ed) I have to admit that an unknown quantity like a made-up mobile attacking you at that point of your career is ... unnerving?

Enough to convince me that if I took my little buddy the hedgehog on a sightseeing tour, the rewards would be enough to make wiz, and now for some reason that was all that counted.I run around, and suddenly it whimpers, "Please drop me on fairy ring on island." With 20/20 hindsight, that of course wasn't right, it should have asked to be dropped IN the fairy ring on THE island. But I was nervous and didn't see it.

Trouble is I needed 521 points and it was only worth 494. I could feel wizardly intervention piling up around me - I was cracking under the strain. So, quick calculation, run to summit of north mountain for a quick bonus, kill hedgehog, and - wizard!

5) In real life, you are...

Uh mental. Obviously! But I do PC support for a small number of companies. And have a games shop (PC games) which means I can play them all day and mud at night! Heaven.

6) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

The most fun I have had with something with an engine (I don't care if it's got 2 or 4 wheels, or just a propeller at the front, I like fast things) was doing aerobatics in a Tiger Moth.

And I do mean doing, being in control, as opposed to just sitting there as a passenger!

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KARYA

1) Your favourite prefix is...

Melancholy

2) Where are you now?

Isle of Woe

3) How did you make wiz?

By swamping 5 icons

4) In real life, you are...

I have another life?? Why did someone not tell me?

5) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

I have completed the elusive 9th task

(proof: (taken from my SCORE)

No. of Tasks completed: 9 - #0 #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8)

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KYRIC

1) Your favourite prefix is...

Evil

2) Where are you now?

London, but not for long.

3) How did you make wiz?

It was Murder (bring on the "Heart To Heart" theme tune).

4) In real life, you are...

A person.

5) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

I once made my own mini version of MUD to run on a Commodore C64. It was called "Leopards Dungeon" (named after one of my most well-known personas). The game was terrible but it kept me amused for months on end.

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LESTAT

1) Your name is...

Lestat - I've kinda regretted that since those damn movies came out. At the time I'd read the name in some obscure novel I'd picked up, and thought it had a nice ring to it. Ah well.

2) Your favourite prefix is...

Vampiric - kind of obligatory, really.

3) Where are you now?

Hiding through the daylight hours...

4) How did you make wiz?

Ha. I had all sorts of grand schemes about this. I think I was just a bit crap at the game, as I'd been playing longer than lots of the wizzes I knew then. Took me ages to make wiz, but then I had some kind of pride thing that I had to make it as a pk. I was just a few k away and managed to persuade a mage to come out and fight me for my last reset - summoned him to a locked room in the monastery, but bollixed it up on the reattacks: "k kk wi ax....." forgetting that I had a staff, not a pick. Ah well.

Then the plan changed to this scheme I'd been toying with for ages. The idea was to get to within a couple of points of going over, by carefully calculating the amount of treasure to swamp, then attacking the dragon and while in the fight, eating a flower.... Of course, I messed it up by forgetting that the second icon I swamped would be worth more, 'cos the treasure value would go up. Still - it'd be a grand way to make it if anyone else can manage it, I think.

5) In real life, you are...

Not a cold blooded killer, honest.

6) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

See (5).

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RICHARD

1) Your favourite prefix is...

I don't use a prefix. "Arch-" is enough.

2) Where are you now?

In my office.

3) How did you make wiz?

I made myself wiz.

4) In real life, you are...

The same as in virtual life.

5) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

I collect packs of playing cards.

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TURRICAN

1) Your favourite prefix is...

Sinister

2) Where are you now?

At home.

3) How did you make wiz?

Swamped some junk treasure (that a fleeing mage dropped).

4) In real life, you are...

A private person.

5) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

I wrote the well known Diablo II hack, Maphack.

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UMBRARG

1) Your favourite prefix is...

Non-existent, literally.

2) Where are you now?

Sitting at my desk, reluctantly answering your inane questions.

3) How did you make wiz?

By completing 8 tasks and scoring 204,800 points. If nobody else provides an approximation of that answer, then I'll pretend to eat my non-existant hat.

4) In real life, you are...

... not about to answer any questions about real life other than to reveal the existence of the aforementioned desk.

5) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

C xnpwa' hacc jbc caeuc' jcw jbcj un'iij hacc'na ubnj mcw hacc cgiij rcewt!

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XIA

1) Your favourite prefix is...

Sleepy

2) Where are you now?

Watching you... so you'd better behave!

3) How did you make wiz?

The last couple of times, was on the white rose as I recall.

4) In real life, you are...

...even more sleepy than Xia is...

5) Tell us something we didn't know about you...

If I drink too much red wine, I lose any memory of what happens... oh and... I don't drink red wine any more!

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All character portraits courtesy of EQ Pixel Army, my imagination, and a little bit of photoshoppery. Any resemblence to real persons, fake persons, made-up persons, or other people's idea of what anyone looks like, would frankly be a miracle. Many huge thanks to the wizzes that took part, and yah boo sucks to those that declined to take part :-)