More Tails of Hobo - the Littlest (and only!) MUD Dog

Hobo faced the gate guarded by "Azrael the brave" and "Joey the brand brandisher". Azrael ripped out his cape and ring from his coracle and moved menacingly towards Hobo. Joey looked puzzled and didn't move. Azrael noticed this and shouted "The command is 'ign brand' you dim-witted camel herder from Thuckstan on the Kean!" Joey's brand burst into flame and he began to run at Hobo. Hobo thought quickly and in one move stole the coal out of Azrael's coracle and destroyed it.

For a moment there was silence and stillness on the wastes of North Mountain. Azrael stared intently and suddenly vanished leaving all his kit for Joey. Joey, being slow, was too busy working out how to douse the ram he had set on fire. Hobo grabbed the longsword from the coracle and slew Joey where he stood. Hobo felt proud of himself as he heard accusations that he was a Wizmort. "There's a first time for everything," he thought.

Hobo passed the gates and it wasn't long before he saw an ancient traveller emerge from the mist. Did I mention it was misty? It was misty and a stranger came out the mist. The mist blocked Hobo's view because the mist was so thick. "Strange mist we have." Hobo said.

"Yes, the mist is strange," the worn old puffin replied.

"Who are you my good man?" Hobo yelled.

"My name is WD of the aigh! I used to play long ago but I now use my skills to heal badgers. I come from the great Bartle!" he growled.

"Ok, so how can I get there? I must dance for him."

"You must get past the three guardians. One is cold as ice, one is made of solid peppermint and one is wearing ladies underwear from Eric's shop." he retorted to himself.

"Thanks WD!"

"Aigh!" he replied and left into the mist.

Hobo looked up and saw the castle of Bartle ahead of him. Suddenly there was a rumble in the bushes and a naked figure stepped out. It was none other than Benny. He had tired of Reverence and desired Animal Ass. Hobo knew he was in trouble as Benny lunged towards him with his hard broadsword ...