Mudmeet Report - Oldham 2001

The first person to arrive on Friday was Foz. He was only five hours early ... After making sure that he'd left the THS at home, I collected him from the train station and parked him on the sofa while I completed the "cleaning of the house before the meet" ceremony. As our next guests didn't arrive until the early hours, I retired to bed leaving Marlight and Foz to clear some room in the contents of the fridge. (Editor's note: The fridge contained beer and food. There was a little less beer by the time we'd finished. :-) Marly) Jincks and Fruitbat arrived at an ungodly hour thanks to Virgin's wonderful Friday train schedule.

On Saturday morning everyone was up bright and early. Well, OK, maybe not so bright, and maybe not that early ... OK, it was approaching midday! Jincks seemed the best rested after bagging the futon, Foz and Fruitbat not so bright eyed and bushy tailed after getting the sofa and chair respectively. After a few cups of tea everyone was suitably refreshed to get to Yates'!

We were met by the welcoming sight of Vulnax standing at the bar wearing a big grin. Apparently, it was happy hour. :-) After exchanging greetings and witticisms we turned to see the arrival of Dr Richard Bartle. who was muttering under his breath about badly designed town centres and gold on black direction signs that couldn't be read. This from the man who gave us the scriptorium, the maze of hedges, tree roots, and multiple exits that lead to the same room ...

Once drinks had been purchased we headed upstairs to see who had already arrived. The fantastic managerial staff at the pub had not told the Saturday staff to expect a busload of people ready to eat and drink, as had been arranged prior to the meet, so we didn't have any seating organised. Being an organised mob we just descended on the tables where Syl (having very much a Sonic the Hedgehog kind of day, hair wise :), Jesstar, and Pippin had settled. On the good news side, the upstairs bar was opened shortly afterwards. :-)

After a few more drinks and some food I was getting worried about Foddy and Karya, especially as their passenger was Dclxvi. Dc not having any real life map macros wasn't helping me to feel any better. (Just kidding Dc ;^) I gave them a ring and was informed by a slightly fed up Foddy that they were "somewhere called Ashton, going round in circles"! Now, Ashton has one of the most unforgiving one-way systems ever invented by sadistic town planners. (Hmmm ... I wonder if Dr Bartle visited Ashton when he came up with the scripto?) I was about to suggest sending out a rescue party when I heard that they had escaped and were on their way.

Sure enough, fifteen minutes later Karya, Dc, and David "Foddy" Bailey arrived, complete with patent Laser Flash 10000 camera. Seconds later Dc was returning to the bar for his twelfth WKD, setting the pace for the rest of the day. :-)

Djgod arrived soon after (sporting baseball cap and permanent smile) and took a seat next to Foz.

At this point Richard unveiled the dreaded camera and started to do his worst ... Fortunately the camera jammed seconds later. Unfortunately, as ever there was a Plan B and our cheers faded as, wearing an evil grin, Richard triumphantly unveiled a disposable camera and carried on snapping away.

Zordell and Cloud arrived a little later, having made a tortuous train journey, prompting hugs, cheers, and cries of "Slaphead!". (Or maybe it was just me shouting that ... *coughs*)

By this time Foz had downed enough alcohol to float shark0, shark1, and a couple of icebergs, and his infamous nerves had taken a good slapping, leaving him to regale the table with his usual banter. Djgod's permanent smile turned into a grin, and then into outright laughter until, as he took a drink of (coughs) medicinal water Foz uttered the immortal words "FOD Farmer Vlad", and Dj performed the most spectacular impersonation of a spouting whale I have ever seen! Most of the resultant splutter of "water" went over Foz who was, I think, glad of the free beer. ;^)

A very enjoyable afternoon was spent laughing and talking. Full marks for effort to Vulnax for his comments to Zordell while keeping that wonderfully innocent smile on his face. (You know which comments I mean Vully! :-D) Also, I wonder if Dc can give us tips on how he can seemingly absorb alcohol through his skin? ;^)

At about 6.30 Richard had to leave to make his way back home. (We'll have the next one near to you, Richard! Promise!) Syl and Jesstar also had to leave to make their trip back home. A little later at about 7.30, who should arrive but Boggy and Antman! Better late than never, eh? :-) I took Boggy to park his car at our house, and he let me know that they had beer, beer, a bit more beer, and, erm, curry in the boot of the car. (Ed: They might have been late, but they were well stocked. What else do you need to take with you for a weekend away? Marly)

By the time we'd rejoined the others the pub had gone into disco mode. Rumours that the flashing lights had been turned on so that we all knew how Dc felt could be true ...

Not long after, for some inexplicable reason, I've been getting very tired very quickly recently, so I headed back home with Fruitbat for protection. So there's a bit of a gap here, and I apologise if I've missed anything. I asked Marlight to fill this part in, but he's useless ... (Ed: OK, OK ... A quick summary of the next couple of hours would be: beer, beer, flashing lights, more beer. This was followed by a bit more beer, lots more flashing lights, and more beer. At about 9.30 Vulnax headed back to the sweet delights of Merseyside(-ish?). Djgod also bid us farewell, and I suggested to everyone that we head back to Chez Pol'n'Marly. At least there we could hear ourselves think! (Ed: Rumours that I'm getting old and just can't take the pace any more are probably correct! Marly)

On the way back Antman and Boggy decided to get some food before walking back to our house. Boggy went to the takeaway twice, because he had forgotten what he really wanted, and ordered something else the second time. On the way back a parked car jumped out and started ramming into Antman's shins (which is pure conjecture, but their had to be some reason for the next bit :-). Being in no state to throw a FOD at it, he instead threw his kebab. The car is recovering well and should be back on the road soon.

After detouring up the dual carriageway towards Manchester they decided to get a taxi after all. Unfortunately, they'd forgotten which house number we lived at. Taking the logical approach, Antman, in his wizdom, decided to start knocking on doors at one end of the street until they found the right house while Boggy sat on a wall eating his takeaways. As Cloud very perceptively put it, "What's he going to say? 'Hi, I'm looking for Poledra and Marlight. I'm Antman and I'm a wizard!" Cue frantic phone calls and men in white coats ... ;^) Strangely enough, as we opened the front door to see where they might be, Boggy was sat on the wall directly opposite our house. Ah well ... the neighbours will start talking to us again soon, I'm sure.

Meanwhile, Fruitbat was proving that his evil pk'ing persona had a mellow domestic edge by making everyone bacon butties, and very nice they were too! After being initially nervous of him being in the same room as sharp knives, I was impressed! The guy knows his way around a kitchen. (Ed: Although, seeing as how the kitchen isn't big enough to swing a cat in, that's not hard! And just don't ask how I know it's too small to swing a cat in ... ;^) Marly) On the entertainment front, our cat thoughtfully obliged by providing endless amusement chasing shadows until she ran upstairs after a meeting with "All cats should know and fear me" Antman.

As some head to their hotels later, peace and quiet descended on the house. Peace and quiet that is, apart from Foz's snoring. We've had the foundations shored up now, and the surveyor says that we can just plaster over the cracks ...

Early next morning everyone gathered as most had to get an early train. As we waved them off the remaining people (ourselves, Foddy, Karya, Boggy, Dc, and Pippin) went to a local pub for a spot of lunch.

All in all we had a wonderful, laughter filled, weekend and I'd like to thank everyone for coming and especially Jincks for making it happen.

By the way, during the course of the meet it was decided that the little being currently turning somersaults in my belly is going to be an uber-MUD player. Mixing Foz's THS suicide tactics with Fruitbat's pk abilities, Marlight's apk theories, Foddy's sensibilities, Jincks' tea making powers, Dc's coracle, Cloud's fluffiness, and Karya's niceness, we've got a Neo of The Land on the way ... Oh dear, then again, maybe we've created a monster!