Muddled Times
Issue:Issue 9, April 2001
Section:Articles
Author:Gehenna

Only a Game? Get Real

"It's only a game!" the defiant PK screams at you as you lick your wounds in the calm and sanctity of the tearoom - how many times have you experienced this? MUD's favourite excuse: it's only a game. Of course, MUD is only a game, but there is a lot more to it than that. It's a community and a thing that can become a way of life, unlike games like Quake where you play to kill or die. MUD isn't a game like that. It's a game where you create new friendships and your persona becomes a part of you. When you die, it hurts, even for many experienced MUD players. As a game it is something you get highly involved in. It becomes real in ways. You spend so much time working on your persona - your mud life, that it ceases to be a game. It becomes more serious than that.

After the death of my first main persona, I was extremely upset. The fact that I'd killed her on purpose didn't help matters either, and it was then I realised how much the game meant to me. I had calmly planned my own death in my head, then carried it out, but afterwards, I couldn't play. I wouldn't talk to anyone. I had orchestrated it, but I couldn't handle it. To say I came that bit closer to understanding real-life suicides is an understatement. I was overwhelmed at the feelings I was experiencing over a text game. No matter how much I told myself it was only a game, a game is for fun, the words "she's dead and you can't bring her back" kept rattling through my mind. Regret and despair filled me and I began to wonder about why I bothered to play MUD.

Now I doubt I'm the only one to suffer these feelings over the loss of a persona. I'm perhaps one of the only ones who's going to admit it, but on the whole, MUD can give a roller coaster ride of emotions - not really what you expect from a game. The community of the game is what keeps me coming back. I believe I'm classed as a socialiser -- I enjoy watching people's reactions to things. The game is fun, but the players are what make it so good.

In MUD, friendships are made, and these friendships are as real as those you experience in real life. They go through their ups and downs, you fall out, you make up, and if you are betrayed, it hurts as much as if a real-life friend had betrayed you. Often I've seen a friendship brutally broken when one friend attacks another. In a world of text and names without faces, you can bare your soul - and this is what makes these friendships so special.

So is it only a game? Or is it more?

It's an addiction.

It's a way of life.

It's MUD2.


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