Colin & Gavin: And then there was light

"Is this heaven?"
"Yes Colin"
"I thought it would be better"
"Why Colin?"
"Because they serve Darjeeling tea ... and I hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it!"

The sound of Colin stamping his feet like a petulant child made Gavin sit up and gaze around dazedly. The room had a familiar air to it and as his brain slowly agreed to process information again he sighed loudly, "No Colin, sadly, we're not in heaven, we're back in the bloody tearoom!" Climbing slowly into a seat he looked dejectedly into his teacup:

"The tea swirls around in the cup, and you see a flawed boy ..."

Gavin looked up, yep, the tea was right. The flawed boy was currently racing around thanking the world he was alive, while Gavin was cursing the same fact. Gavin scratched his head dismally; he knew they'd died. He remembered it very clearly in fact. The dwarfs ... the torture chamber ... that lovely, yet cruel Maiden. He shuddered. It hadn't been a quick death, but they had died. And now they were un-dead. It didn't make sense.

A small voice coughed and they looked around, glancing down at the floor they saw a stick, which waved, in a way, which only sticks can. Colin paused, mid-skip, his tea preparing to spill from the precariously held cup, "Gavin, did that stick just speak?" Gavin nod. The stick made a noise akin to clearing its throat and beamed wildly at them.

"I'm pleased to say we fixed the problem!"
"What problem..?" asked Gavin.
"The server problem."
"There was a problem?"
"Yes ... it was down for a week, all very messy, but we sorted it all!"
"Were there any strange things arising from this problem?"
"Now you should mention it, yes there were ... you see, this world needs to be backed up to the master world, the minions forgot, and, err, the last two months technically didn't exist or occur ..."
"You mean to say, we are alive because you screwed up?!" Gavin fumed.
The stick regarded him cautiously, "Aren't you glad to be alive ..?".

"NO!" wailed Gavin. The stick shrugged, "Sorry, nothing I can do. No restores, or un-restores, or whatever they would classify killing you as ... I have work to do, tata!". Colin smirked and Gavin glared at him, "What are you sneering at?" Colin skipped happily towards Gavin and laughed, "A stick is too busy to talk to you! A stick!" and for Colin, everything went dark for a while.

"Gavin, why did you hit me?" Colin whimpered.
"You were annoying me."
"Oh"
"What are we gonna do now?"
"Avenge our rightful deaths! We were dead, and they brought us back, that's bloody unfair."

Colin looked at him, "But we can stay alive this time, right? Cos I really didn't want to die to the dwarfs, I like this land ...". Gavin sighed deeply, "Oh, I suppose so, but revenge for now." And with that, they set about their revenge.

They knew the arch-wizard and witch had a cottage hidden from mortals, Gavin, having bribed a disgruntled wizard now had a key to enter this once forbidden realm! Setting out late at night, between the first and second resets of this new dawn, they sneaked up to the gate and gazed at the rather dilapidated cottage, which stood before them. "You'd think being an arch, he'd have something a bit better to look at than this!" exclaimed Gavin. Colin shrugged, "The witch liked it".

Sneaking into the garden, they weaved through the flower gardens and spied the shed, which lay to the bottom of the garden. "That's where he keeps his cloud". Colin looked at him curiously, intelligence barely flickering behind his blue eyes, "We're here to kidnap a cloud?" Gavin nodded, Colin shook his head and mutter, "And he says I'm the stupid one". They paused, crouched behind a sea of Snowdrops, and in the cottage, the occupants stirred.

"Karya", mumbled a sleepy male voice.
"Yes dear?"
"Did you hear something?"
"No"
"I did, I can smell them too… there's mortals out there"
"You're just paranoid, mortals don't even know where out there is"
"Justifiably paranoid! Remember the last time they got in and ate all the Orchids? Ate the bloody flowers! Uncouth little rats, I'm going to go check."
"Go back to sleep Foddy" she replied wearily, "There is no one out there"
"There is!" he protested grumpily, tugging at his beard.
"Sleep!" she warned, the glint of a sleep-induced rage seeping into her eyes.
"Oh all right then", he grumbled, pulling his sheet back over his head. He'd check when she went to sleep; it was easier than arguing with the old witch ...

"OW! What was that for?!"
"Calling me that"
"Calling you what?"
" 'Old witch'"
"What ... how did you know?"
"Oh come on, I'm snooping the writer, I saw you think it, and no checking when I go to sleep either".

Muttering and pulling his covers close around him, he turned his back to Karya, who smirked before snuggling down under her quilt, with a quick click she turned her mind's eye off and gently drifted off to sleep.

Sneaking on their bellies, across the now flattened sea of snowdrops, they arrived at the door to the shed, taking his key from his belt; he slipped it into the lock and clicked the door open, inside the cloud lay sleeping peacefully, gentle snores echoing round the wooden edifice.

"Got the bag Colin?" Gavin whispered. Colin nodded, waving the bag slowly at Gavin, "Right, now we have to get the cloud into that bag" Gavin whispered. Colin stared at him wide eyed. "That cloud will not fit in that carpet bag!" he exclaimed a bit too loudly. The cloud grumbled and Gavin slapped Colin across the head, "shhhh!!" Colin rubbed his head. "Yes it will, it's a magical cloud, they, err, do stuff like that". Colin sighed and pulled the bag as open as he could, tiptoeing up behind the cloud, they sprung into action.

"Mmmpphff!"
"Mmmpphff?"
"I think its cloud fighting talk! Get it closed in there before it gets violent!!" Gavin shrieked. And, a lot of floundering around later, they sat, perspiring and gasping for breath with the carpetbag wriggling and writhing beside them.

"Now I'm sure I heard something THAT time!"
"Go back to sleep! It was nothing, probably just seasonal mobiles wandering about, you know how bad the snowmen get when they don't get to stretch their legs"

Sneaking back across the flowerbeds was much harder with the cloud in tow, which squirmed and fidgeted as much as possible, but eventually, after a lot of swearing, and thudding as Colin thumped the cloud for nipping him, they made it back to the normal land. Settling down under an old pine tree, they looked at each other, then to the cloud.

"Now, what do we do with it?" asked Colin tiredly.
"I don't know ... bury it? Hide it? Kill it?"
"How'd you kill a cloud?"
"I dunno ... stab it ... drown it ... something it"
"Something it sounds like the best suggestion out of the 3"
"Don't mock me Colin, or I'll something you!"

Gavin looked at the bag for a moment then in the vague direction of the Inn, a wicked smile sprung to his face, standing he grasped the bag, gave Colin a push and headed off towards the Inn. Colin shook his head and followed with a frustrated look on his simple features. They walked to the Inn in silence, Colin, afraid to disturb Gavin's insanity and Gavin afraid to disturb the cloud. Silence filled the air, but they knew they weren't alone, in the distance they could hear the last howl of a wolf, hinting to the location of a sneaking mage.

Arriving at the Inn, they descended to the cellar. "Lock the door Colin ..." Gavin instructed once they entered the spirit store, the lock clicked and Gavin turned his attention to the carpetbag. "Right, Colin, help me, we've got to get the cloud into the Vat ..."

"THIS was the cunning plan?"

Colin reeled as Gavin slapped him upside the head. Muttering about the injustices of friendship, they got to work and forced the cloud into the vat. Once out the bag, they stepped back and observed it carefully, they could hear the noisy slurps as the cloud gulped down the alcohol, and the subsequent hiccups as it went to it's head.

"There!" Gavin announced triumphantly, "The perfect solution, the malmsey is magical, and the supply is never ending, and the cloud is an obvious alcoholic. It will stay here until we see fit to return to get it!". Colin smiled weakly, "So, after all that, we just leave it here?"

"Yes!"
"Right ... back to the tearoom then?"

The tearoom was bustling with activity when they returned, and the air filled with mortal whines about points loss. Gavin smirked as he took a seat and looked over to Colin, "Now we wait."

It wasn't long before Foddy and Karya arose from their slumber, stretching by the window, Foddy flung it open and breathed in the sweet morning air, he glanced across at Karya who was standing in front of the mirror deciding which prefix to wear, "Karya ... the shed's open ...".

Karya suppressed a giggle, and turned to him, feigning shock, "Really dear?! How awful! Maybe some of those mortals in the tearoom know something about it ...". She turned away quickly and swallowed another laugh; finally she'd seen the back of that damned cloud! Ever since he'd been given it as a gift all those years ago, she'd played second fiddle to it, now it was gone - and she could blame it on the mortals!

She could hear Foddy muttering things behind her, about how he knew he had heard something last night and it was all her fault, she choose to ignore it, because no point in denying the truth.

Back in the tearoom Gavin stretched back and sighed happily, revenge was sweet and as the arch-wizard stormed in, without his cloud he chuckled, and his mirth broadened even further when Karya gave him a wink and a giggle as she strolled in behind him. Maybe later, they'd give him his cloud back, but for now, this was his punishment for forcing Gavin back into the world of the living, and for making sure, that no matter where he went, he was stuck with Colin for eternity.