Herbert The Hapless Hedgehog

Chapter 8

High in the sky Foddy was lounging back on his comfy cloud, enjoying a special cocktail created for him by Agrazag (another wizard). Neither Antman nor Boggy had broken any of the rules set down in their allotted ten minutes, so he was happy enough to watch and see what happened.

Umbrarg the wizard gently touched Foddy on the shoulder, which made him jump.

Foddy: "Umbrarg! Do you have to keep doing that??"

Umbrarg smiled briefly, before his face took on a much more serious look.

Umbrarg: "We have a problem, Foddy."

Foddy: "What's up?"

Umbrarg: "Turrican is in The Land."

Foddy: "Yeah? Well most of the wizards are in The Land at one time or another."

Umbrarg: "Turrican is controlling a mortal called Po with designs of taking mortals hostage in order to force us to make him an Arch."

Foddy choked, and dropped his drink.

Foddy: "Are you certain?"

Umbrarg: "Most certain, I was watching him as he took over the mortal."

Foddy: "OK. What should we do?"

Umbrarg: "Not sure. But we can't just leave him."

Foddy: "No. You're right we can't. OK. I'll bring him here."

Foddy clicked his fingers. Nothing happened.

Foddy: "Hmm… that's odd. You try."

Umbrarg clicked his fingers. Again nothing.

Looking suddenly worried Foddy began making a series of gestures.

Nothing.

Foddy: "I think we have a problem. Magic isn't working. I can't glow or FOD or find Turrican or anyone else for that matter."

Umbrarg: "Me neither. What's going on?"

Foddy: "I don't know. You had better gather any wizards that are close by, we have to find out what's happened."

Foddy was more then a little worried. Never before had magic failed him or Umbrarg, something was very wrong. Turning quickly, Foddy turned to find his fellow wizards.

Several minutes' later five wizards were sat in a semi-circle around Foddy.

Reverence, Antman, Boggy, Umbrarg and Fruitbat. Reverence and Fruitbat had to be kept as far away from each other as possible, for although Foddy had engineered a clever idea to stop them fighting, it didn't stop them hating each other.

Foddy explained the situation and asked them all to try and use their magic.

All the wizards tried to use their spells.

Nothing.

Reverence: "Nothing. Why are my spells not working?"

Fruitbat: "Because you're a useless excuse for a wizard?"

Reverence snarled and pounced towards Fruitbat. Before he'd even reached halfway however, an electric charge arced between them both, causing them great pain. While both of them were immortal, and hence couldn't die, this was an Arch Wizard's bolt and hurt them both a lot.

Foddy sighed. "Kids," he thought to himself.

Foddy: "OK gentlemen, as you can see you can't reach each other anymore without causing yourselves immense pain."

Fruitbat and Reverence just lay there, groaning on the floor.

Foddy: "Did any of you manage to cast any magic?"

All the wizards shook their heads.

Foddy: "OK. We have two problems. All magic seems to have stopped working. And Turrican has taken over a mortal in order to try and exert some leverage on me and Umbrarg here to grant him Arch status."

Antman and Boggy looked at each other.

Antman: "Oh dear."

Boggy: "You don't think Turrican has done something to magic do you? So we can't hurt him?"

Foddy: "It's entirely possible. Something we must not rule out. However we can't do a lot at the moment."

Antman: "Which mortal has he taken over?"

Foddy looked at Umbrarg.

Umbrarg: "Po."

Antman and Boggy looked at each other, before slapping their foreheads in unison.

Foddy looked bewildered.

Foddy: "What's wrong?"

Antman: "Herbert and Co. are heading to meet Po in order to rescue the snugglepuss."

Foddy shook his head. Could anything else go wrong?

Chapter 9

Meanwhile back in the land Herbert was riding eight feet high on Marlight's shoulder. Although the trip to the castle was a relatively short one they had decided to take a scenic route via the keep to avoid any nasty surprises Po might have had in store for them.

Foz was telling a rude joke involving a maiden and a giant. Marmite was listening and laughing. Cloud, who had heard it before, was leading upfront with Marlight discussing Marmite.

"I don't trust him," Cloud said, a little peeved that Foz was joking with Marmite (a relative stranger) rather then himself.

"Nah, none of us do. That's why Foz is keeping him occupied," Marlight said quietly.

"I knew that." Cloud muttered something under his breath and then laughed.
Suddenly a hand reached out and grabbed Herbert, who gave a little squeal.

Cloud smiled.

"It's only me Herbie, you looked a bit glum so I thought I'd carry ya for a bit."

Herbert grinned impishly.

"Cool."

So while Cloud was discussing the coal with Herbert, and Foz was amusing Marmite with rude jokes, Marlight was left to his own devices. So he was the only one who noticed that two men were stalking them as they traveled through the olive grove to the monastery.

"Hmmm," he thought to himself "wonder who they are?"

Soon the men drifted off however so he dismissed them from his mind and continued onward.

Nightfall was rapidly approaching marking the end of the fouth day of Herbert's adventure. As they set up camp outside the gates of the old abandoned monestry Herbert couldn't help wondering what tomorrow would bring.

Chapter 10

High in the sky Foddy had formulated a plan to stop Turrican's designs on Arch-wizdom in their tracks.

Foddy: "OK. Here's the deal. We can't help Herbert and his friends. They will have to look after themselves. But we can deal with Turrican. If you can cover him in this stuff ..."

Foddy gave Antman a mortar full of some dark powder.

Foddy: "... then he will be forced to leave his controlled body and enter his normal one, which we have in a special wiz-limbo. Any questions?"

All the wizards bar Umbrarg raised their hands.

Foddy: "OK Shoot."

Antman: "How do we reach him?"

Boggy: "Can he use magic?"

Fruitbat: "Does Reverence have to come along?"

Reverence: "Please let me hurt Fruitbat?"

Foddy muttered under his breath.

Foddy: "Antman, just leap off a cloud when it's over the castle. Boggy I don't know. Fruitbat, Yes he does. Reverence, No you can't. Save it for Turrican. Now will you two please behave!"

Umbrarg: "In order for this plan to work you're going to have to do this quickly. You have ten minutes before this cloud passes over the castle. Prepare yourselves."

Antman and Company left the cloud, Reverence and Fruitbat still looking daggers at each other.

Foddy sighed.

Foddy: "You think they'll manage it?"

Umbrarg: "You never know ... they might ..."

Foddy sighed again. Looking up to the stars Foddy muttered, "Why me Richard?"

Richard ... whoever he might be ... didn't reply.

Meanwhile ... Po/Turrican was very pleased with himself. The idea he'd had as regards reversing the polarity of the touchstone to suck all the magic out of the land was working magnificently. He was certain the wizards must know of his plan by now, yet nothing had been done, which suggested to him he'd been successful in robbing them of their magic.

Turrican pounded the arm of his chair, laughing hysterically. If only he could have seen the look on Foddy's face when his precious FOD spell didn't work. Turning on his heels, he walked over to the Dark Matter Orb he had constructed using parts of the amulet, a platinum sphere and a pendant. The orb was the only thing stopping the touchstone from draining his magic. Smiling to himself, he sat back on his throne and awaited the team of wizards Foddy would surely send to stop him.

As the cloud came round to the point above the castle where they would jump off, Boggy turned to Antman and groaned.

Antman: "What's up?"

Boggy: " I'm sorry mate. I sent Benny and Mankoid to kill Herbert and the rest of them. And now I can't stop it."

Antman sighed. Herbert was as good as dead then.

Elsewhere Herbert was awaking to the sound of combat. Struggling to his feet he turned to see two people fighting with Cloud and Marlight. Marmite was sat over to one side with a knife at Foz's throat. Cloud, armed with only a small knife, was massively outmatched by the taller of the two brigands armed with a longsword and was slowly being pushed back towards the giant door of the monastery. Marlight was having more luck with the shorter brigand and had just brained him with his club when a shout came from behind him.

"MARLIGHT! LOOK OUT!"

Marlight turned ... and saw a dagger plunge into his thigh. Marmite pulled the dagger from Marlight's leg and was about to stab him in the chest when a flaming stick smashed him in the mouth. Marlight fell to the ground and, unfortunately, rolled over the lip of a very steep slope. However that probably saved his life as the shorter brigand had just arisen from the ground dazed. Snatching up his shortsword he moved in on the defenseless Foz.

Herbert moved himself into an en guard position while Marmite spat blood and teeth from the ruined mess that was now his mouth.

"You bathard," he mumbled "I'wl kiwl you for that!"

Marmite tried to get close enough to Herbert to use his dagger… but every time he came within range of the flaming stick Herbert would crack him with it. Marmite was becoming more and more frustrated and charged Herbert.

Standing ramrod straight Herbert aimed carefully for one of Marmites eyes and plunged forward as Marmite crashed into him. The stick pierced Marmites face and jabbed far into his brain. Thrashing madly Marmite yanked the stick out of his face and collapsed in a heap. Dead.

Herbert looked around quickly. Foz was grappling with the short brigand, while Cloud had backed all the way up against the monastery doors.

Thinking to himself Cloud was in more danger, Herbert leapt to help him… however he slipped in the pool of blood surrounding Marmite's head and rolled into a ball to land behind the brigand.

Getting a solid grip on the smaller brigand's leg, Foz heave him into the air and brought him down heavily on a rock. All the air whooshed out of the smaller brigand and he dropped his shortsword, which Foz picked up. Looking around he saw Cloud was only a moment from being spitted on a longsword.

"Push him Cloud.," he screamed.

Cloud, realising what he wanted, leapt forward and shoulder charged the tall brigand. Slipping the tall brigand turned and pitch over… to fall face first on Herbert curled up in a ball.

Letting out an agonized scream the brigand stood up and ripped Herbert off his face, hurling him to one side, Herbert rolled a few times and then slipped over the ledge of the slope that Marlight had previously fallen over.

Foz pulled Cloud up to his feet and pushed him towards the slope.

"Go," he said, gasping for air. "Help Herbert!"

"Don't be stupid Foz. You can't beat two of them!" Cloud replied.

"We don't have time to waste here," Foz said. "Besides if you die Zordell would kill me."

With that Foz handed Cloud his shortsword and pushed him over the ledge. Turning back to the brigand Foz smiled.

"Damn Benny. Haven't got my two-handed-sword this time… you stand a chance."

Benny snarled and charged. Side stepping the slashing longsword Foz thundered a punch to Benny's chin, but he underestimated the effect it would have. Benny dropped his sword and grabbed Foz's wrist and bent it backward cruelly. As the two men grappled, the second brigand rose to his feet and retrieved Benny's longsword.

"Goodbye Foz, you fool!" Mankoid plunged the sword into Foz's back, stabbing through his body and straight out the other side ... into Benny. Foz fell to the ground and rolled to his side. His last thought was of Zordell and the date he wasn't going to get.

"Awwww,' bugger." He thought to himself. And then he was gone.

Benny was bleeding to death. Looking at Mankoid he couldn't believe what the idiot had done.

Mankoid smiled.

"Whoops. Sorry mate. Guess I don't have to share the reward with you now."

As Mankoid turned to leave, Benny reached over to Marmite's corpse and picked up the dagger. Staggering to his feet he stabbed the dagger straight in the centre of Mankoid's back. Falling back to the ground Benny knew he was about to die.

"I never really liked you anyway Mankoid," he gurgled as blood rushed into his lungs.

Then all was deathly quiet as the mist settled back over the olive grove.

Thus ends the next part of Herbert's Adventure. Next one will be the last one.

Fozzy :)