A guide to the Dwarfen Citadel

Welcome to the Admiral Bombow Inn, stranger. What can I do for you today? You'd like to learn about the dwarfs that live beyond the entrance to the mine? I happen to be quite an expert ... if you'll have a seat at the bar, I'll tell you all you need to start exploring.

Firstly, there's something you should know about dwarfs - they hate being called dwarves! This is a well known fact in the land, and is even mentioned in the mudspeke library. You can look at the entry on dwarfs from within the game by typing MUDSPEKE DWARF. Let me show you ...

*MUDSPEKE DWARF [dwarf] NOUN Dwarf is a sub-class of mobile. There are more dwarfs than any other type of mobile, and they live in the Dwarf Realm. They have mixed abilities, ranging from dies-from-one-blow to casts- spells-and-steals-your-wafers. Dwarf guards are particularly awkward to kill, as they come in groups of three. NB: the plural of dwarf is dwarfs: there are no 'dwarves' in MUD! See PORG, stumpy, genocide.

It's as simple as that. It's a bit like an encyclopedia, and used just about as often!

The second thing you should know about dwarfs, is that they hate people stealing their treasures! Be careful if you're thinking of taking back any momentos, or you may not be taking back anything at all.

OK, you know where the entrance to the mine is? Yup, that's right - at the East end of the railway. It's dark in there, so you you'll need to be able to see in the dark.

The mine is an old disused tin mine. It's quite big, so you may want to make a map of it before going too deep. There are all sorts of little passages and shafts to explore. Unfortunately they all look the same to me!

You're bound to run into some tin that hasn't been dug up yet, so it might be worth your while taking something to dig it up with. If you can't see it, it won't be worth trying, though. Something like a pick would be good, and is also useful as a weapon ... and if you're doing anything more than sight-seeing, you'll need a weapon!

OK, OK! I know you want to get onto the good stuff, I'm getting there. These dwarfs? Mostly they stay in their citadel and surrounding fields ... yes, fields underground, I was surprised when I found out myself. Sometimes they venture out and cause havoc, but mostly they stay underground.

My memory isn't as good as it used to be, and I can't quite remember the directions to the entrance, but it's a long way down the north shaft. You'll have to squeeze your way in (did I mention these dwarfs are a bit on the short side? Ah, OK) ... you'll have to squeeze your way in, but once you get there, the view is fantastic!

It's so beautiful. You'll find yourself in a vast cavern, lit by a hole high in the roof, perhaps all the way up in the mountains. In the middle of the cavern is the infamous dwarfen citadel, surrounded by forests and pastures. If you need to rest for a while, there is a little pool to the South of the citadel filled by a delightful spring.

You won't have any trouble finding your way around the cavern, all you need to do is look! Just be careful about where you're treading - the dwarfs won't thank you for making crop-circles!

The citadel stands right in the centre, a proud structure. If you are foolish enough to want to enter, you may do so from the West side. Taking care not to anger any of the dwafs, you must make your way East.

At the top of the citadel, you will be faced by a gateway which must be opened. To force this would take the strength of more than a man. However, there is believed to be a magical key which, if dropped, will open the gateway without force ... no, I don't know what the key is, but it will be dwarfen in origin.

Once inside and through a further locked door, I believe you will find yourself in a large hall ... yes, I believe, I've never dared go that far myself. What I tell you now I have not seen with my own eyes.

To the North and North-East of here lies the dwarfen kitchens, stores and other places of little interest. An adventurer may even be lucky enough to walk around these areas without being challenged ... yes, you might raid these rooms easily, but for what?

Now, I believe the heart of the citadel lies to the South of the hall. This is where the dwarfs live and work. Directly South, and to the South-East are the royal quarters. Only a fool would dare to enter these. There are rumours of treasures you could only imagine tucked away in the royal treasure chamber.

The Dwarfen King is not one to be messed with, and is protected by layers of dwarf guards ... no, I know nothing of the details, and what does it matter? No one would try to steal from the King.

You ... want to? No, why would you risk it? Yes, there's lots of treasure, but to one who has never been there before, there is also certain death!

Since you have made up your mind, let me help you on your way.

You will need a good source of light. It helps if you make a good map of the mine first. Once through, you will need keys to enter the citadel.

Inside, you will undoubtedly find opposition. Everyone knows that the dwarfs make the very best wafers, but it is wise to take your own supply in case you cannot find any. Sleep often, but only when it's safe.

You will need great strength to get past the guards, and the bigger your team, the stronger you are. Of course, a stealthy adventurer may still defeat the guards alone. Magic is helpful, too - you'd do well to persuade a magic-user to join your team.

If you do somehow make it through the dwarfs to the treasues, get out of there fast, the dwarfs will be right on your heels! Oh, and for my trouble, please bring me back a piece of treasure.

You've been a good listener, I wish you well on your travels. Good luck! You will need it ...