Hawumph's Agony Column

(OR it's about time someone smacked some sense into these silly mortals)

Dear Hawumph,

I have lost my urge. Suddenly phantom images of badly crafted triangles (I think they are supposed to be trees), and my own body, unlooted strangely, and not dead dead like a proper game would do it, left half way up a triangle (or was it a tree?) have drawn me away from the true game.

I also appear to have mislaid my nerve, which is of course a vital part of any true persona.

Can you help me find my lost treasures?

Yours hopefully,

C the Warlock

Dear C,

Your urge is not gone, it is merely dormant. Nor have you lost your nerve. What you lack is an understanding of the complexities of mud. It is a subtle blend of mental imagery, interaction with other players, and a total lack of toblerone shaped trees!

Unfortunately we also lack respawn points, so you may find yourself totally unimpressed by the queueing skills of the population. On the other hand, the tea is always hot, if a little bitter at times, but the atmosphere is on the whole welcoming.

My recommendation is to try some of the busier times, when your lost urge and nerve may be stumbled across by you, or one of your friends. Perhaps a Thursday night mobile bash would do it?

Best wishes,

Haw.

Dear Hawumph,

Is it true that wizzes come in threes? Because I hear there is a new one, and I was wondering who would be next?

Yours,

A. Wannabe

Dear A,

Whilst it is not true that new wizzes necessarily appear like buses, in a group after a long absence, it is of course true that often wiz runners will push each others limits, hence causing a sudden influx, because as one makes it, there is more room/kit for the next one.

Thus we must examine the boundary pushers at the moment in our search for the next few. Silly has certainly pushed the boundaries of reasonableness in terms of silly deaths, and may indeed set a new record one day. However, this is not a quality that is likely to ease him on his way to wisdom.

For that, I think you have to look at the qualities that make a wiz runner. Consistent play, consistent attitude, dedication. Reset after reset, day after day, never flinching from what Eros or any other mobile may throw at you. And so I can reveal that in all probability, the next two, by these standards, will not be wizards, but witches.

Zordell and Cora.

It's obvious!

H.

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