Crazyfool's Column

Let's get some ugly rumours out the way before I begin. Yes, I have had my left leg amputated below the knee because a certain wiz is severely aroused by it. It's my life and my limbs so let's not hear anymore about it.

Silly is back. He skulked into the tearoom a few weeks back and after confirming his identity I began a campaign to force him to leave again. I began with a systematic abuse program consisting of random shouts of, "I hate Silly", quickly moving on to personal insults about his bodily hygiene and his father's sexual persuasion. Silly only has to be back on MUD for one more week and I will begin to phone him at horrible hours of the day and wake him up. For anyone who feels the way I do some simple advice. If you see Silly in The Land blow him up, steal his kit and kill him. We can't have people like this polluting our MUD environment.

It's been a rather action packed month for MUD as Karya organised a Treasure Hunt in which a lot of people participated, including myself. However, I had been drinking and don't remember much. I do remember it was going well until I decided to mess with a goblin on crack and you NEVER GET BETWEEN A GOBLIN AND HIS CRACK ADDICTION! OK? I paid the price so the ram can be crack free and amble his life away. And we all have a right to amble our lives away. Ironic really seeing as I died to the dwarfs and I died to the goblins the next day. My short-term memory is screwed like Po with a credit card.

It may be my imagination but since I returned to MUD it seems to be busier than it was before with the likes of Maxmage blessing us all with his presence. To be fair, I never forgave that man for spawning over 100 apes while I was playing a mage. We can all laugh now eh, Maxmage? We will see who's laughing when you wake up with a colostomy bag shoved up your nose and a tramp's Y Fronts hanging from your metal knees!

Carl, now called Nato, is probably the best player on MUDII.

Speedy Sonic is back as well. I have no factual evidence to support the idea that he ever left but I am so full of myself I believe MUD stops when I do. Sonic is gaining a rather womanly fear of the touchstone and so in association with Muddled Times I started the "Stop Being Such a Wussy, Sonic" campaign. Some of the greatest names on MUD contributed their thoughts:

"What's the worse that can happen? ... Oh yeah." - Azrael.

"Pull yourself together man! You used to be a bloody highlife and now you are slumming it as a Guardian!" - Hawumph.

"What's the Touchstone?" - Carl

"Wahhhooo! I'm p*ssed as a fart!!" - Billygoat

"I'm not falling for this one again Crazyfool. I'm not sure what you put in my drink but ... " - Karya.

Hehe. She was alright folks. We don't need to involve the authorities.

Till next time.

Crazyfool