The Brands Are The Most Important Things in MUD2

By Tsunami von Voktrot

This week - Brand14!

You know what makes me cry?

Makes tea's fall from my vacant and bemused eyes?

The way the variety of unlit brands are ignored by the players of MUD2. Each one tells a story, each one is crying out for love and stimulation. Today this evil must be brought to an end.

Oh yes brand fans, for the story of the brands will be preached from this textual blanket of sensuality and each word will further release the shackles which have been sucking the life out of this noble item.

Brand14 is the peoples' brand It has suffered for years under the weight of MUD2's guilty secrets. There have been many offenders over the years. Some can be forgiven for their general and unrelenting greatness (Po), others must sit in a chair made of barbed wire and have each confession of the brand thrown at them like sharp tomatoes. Brand14 was raised by Alaskan timber wolves who cared for the brand with every ounce of their cruel wolfy hearts. However the noble brand14 never felt truly appreciated, he yearned to be molded and turned into a child's fishing rod or a medieval sex toy.

When taking this torment into account it is almost unthinkable to imagine the pain brand14 must feel when Azrael pours his tooth-kind ribena onto its brown love-skin and rubs it all over his wizardly nipples. The treatment brand14 gets at the hand of the cruel and disturbed players of MUD2 almost makes me want to join the circus and become a very angry yet playful clown who knows one day his rage will overcome him and he will gouge out a child's eye with his juggling batons.

So please, next time you see the tortured brand14 laying alone on a bed of virtual grass take the time to pick it up and utilise its wisdom and torment, or else I'll eat your grandma's fixident.