|Issue:||Issue 22, June 2003|
|Section:||News & Gossip|
So, I was swamping the T from the keep, just a couple of k to wiz!... and as I dropped the last of it the banshee attacks! Woah ... I almost had a heart-attack on the spot! Guys, you've got to believe me, it was almost the end of me......
....but I hacked and slashed at it and soon it was a marshmallowy mess and I was just eighteen points away from wiz! Would you believe it? My weapon was worth just that... all I had to do was drop my weapon!! But I couldn't... I just couldn't let go!! Argh!!! And then this booming voice calls out "Wizrundave! You? Make Wiz? Hah! In your dreams ..."
And then I woke up. For one moment I thought I was finally going to make it.... but no. It wasn't a bad dream, mind you. At least now I'm rested enough to bring you this month's column.
So where shall I start this month? Deaths? Lives? Marriages? (Heheh only kidding!) Maybe that old gallery of rogues? Nah!!! Far too depressing, let's do some death!!
My sources have been keeping me current with the death toll and it seems to me that almost every one has been a warlock! Maybe my sources just don't care about necros ...... but no mages? Oh wait! There was one.....
Corwin made mage, I'm sure of that..but he ain't a mage no more!! Rumour is he was taken out late one night by a wizmort.......... and I don't mean to dinner!!! My source don't know who but that's the second month running Corwin has lost sight of the big prize. If he's not careful he'll die more than I do!!
Back to the warlocks (did I ever start on them?) and top of my list is Lancelot. Brave? maybe. Stupid? probably. Dead? very! It seems he got into a fight with Uno and very kindly stole himself into oblivion!... as I hear it, Uno barely knew where the points came from!!!
So who is this Lancelot dude? Well, he also plays as Carl and it seems he's a wiz from mud2.com! You'd think he'd be careful playing with a name like that... but no! My sources say he ran a red light and ran into Stopsign....Make that minus two warlocks for our Carl!
You know what?? Still more warlocks to come! Halen comes next.... but before I go there, I'd like to thank Halen (aka Crowley) for the little bit of gossip he sent me. I usually keep my sources anonymous.... I'm sure you can understand why..... but I think since Crowley went and posted the gossip on a public board there shouldn't be a problem with naming him this time.
So, he posts an obit. Zolver, warlock, dies in a failed attempt to fod himself. Velanor, mage, ALSO dies failing to fod himself. Lastly, Crowley, warlock, dies to the touchstone......warlock? Haven't they already GOT magic??
So that's two more for the warlock tally. And I guess one more for the mages... but does failing to cast a spell really count as a death???
It was very kind of Crowley, but it's not enough to stop me from telling you all about his other warlock, Halen. Also dead!! When I heard about this I really suspected foul play.........heh! Of course it was just some PK CALLED Foulplay the warlock.
Did I say warlock? You guessed it!! It seems this month it's warlocks who've be cursed instead of my one to watch. Foulplay, PK to the stars, dies to a ......I can barely say it...... heroine!! What a hoot!
Relentless was my one to watch last month.... and he brings an end to my little list of warlocks this month. One to watch? Maybe...if you want to watch a warlock dying to a dwarf (with a little help from a sorc!!) I guess my curse still lives on........
So, that's the end of the deaths........or is it? I was checking the olde rogues gallery to see if the top 10 rogues had by an incredibly chance changed...... and a name had gone missing!!! Not just any old name, but YET ANOTHER warlock ......... Angel!!!!
My sources know nothing of his death, if in fact he did die? Did he pay off his bounty? Did he meet an untimely end? If you know the answer to this, please, PLEASE send me the details to firstname.lastname@example.org.
But for now, we have an all new top 10! 1. Art, 2. Gza, 3. Destiny, 4. Jincks, 5. Seamus, 6. Pacman. Moving up into 7th place is Zordell, Archangel into 8th and Aurora into 9th. In 10th place is an all new entry, Riptide! Yeah, baby!
You know, this month I've not heard any gossip about the tearoom posse!!....Have they vanished or got with the programme and entered the land??
So all that's left for me to do is to name my one to watch for this month......it's a tough one with all the activity out there, but I'm fairly confident the person I've chosen will be worth watching. Not only has he lost not one but two warlocks this month, but my sources say he's got at least one of them back already!! My one to watch for this month is .......... Crowley! Good luck, mate!!
Of course, he's got me to contend with now......I'm tough and I'm rough and I'm on a roll. Soon, it won't just be in my dreams, I will be that elusive wizrunner the PKs can't catch...... because.............