Mortal Wish List

So during a lull in play, the kind wizzes sat around and tried to think of a list of mortal wishes that could be presented to Richard for inclusion in the next release of MUD2. The result, ever so slightly modified (i.e. all the chuckling and a few references to certain players removed) follows.

1. A coracle containing 6 or more wafers carried by a player will begin to breed new wafers.
2. Same applies to dingy but 3 times the effect.
3. Players wishing to enter the game more than 10 seconds after the reset start will be docked 119 stamina.
4. Ring6, cape, amulet are now unstealable.
5. The icicle now weighs 25kg.
6. Should archmorts enter midset they are automatically given 300/300/300 stats (to disprove midset play is impossible).
7. A new kind of vial, the re-summon everything useful that's been destroyed vial.
8. Wafers inside a container of less than 10kg automaticaly transport themselves into foe's inventory.
9. Spamming qi and l in the tearoom increase stats by 1/1/1 per repetition.
10. The worse you are for sneaking the more likely you are to automatically succeed in a steal of teachest or coracle from a foe.
11. After each round you're asked if you want to uncripple.f.qq, no time passes while you reply.
12. Calling someone smelly does 10-15 damage mid-fight, and if you add the word poo you get a sleep from them as well.
13. Announcing your greatness is a self-fulfilling prophecy causing your stats to increase by 20-20-20.
14. Farts should be ignitable and may be used to harm anyone not carrying obsidian, or a clothes peg.
15. Players in the tearoom automatically announce arrival of midset warlocks.
16. As a result of 15, the maximum timeout value is now 3 days.
17. If you die to obvious interference, for example to dragon when a wiz is visible, calling them *CENSORED*, *CENSORED*'s, or anything starting with the letter F grants you an immediate restore to twice your previous level.
18. The usefulness of objects stashed in the diamond room will be compounded by the presence of other such stashed items.
19. If sufficient treasure is left in the safe room, it merges into one piece of super treasure worth 100 times original total values due to the gravitational effect.
20. New object, the anti-gravity dinghy (for getting 19 to swamp).
21. If you are a tearoom mage or any close derivative the pansy becomes undamageable and has twice the stats of the longsword for you.
22. If you are extremely naive eating the pansy only costs 1 point. But if you mention your points loss, you lose 2 points, then 4, then 8!
23. New object, the wizmortdetector0, unlimited charges of *CENSORED*.