The First Book of Tea

First there was nothing. Then Richard appeareth. In all his wizdom he createth the Land. He saw this and thought it was good, (well it was the 80s). Richard then scoopethed some gas from the swamp and created Steve the first mortal. Steve livethed in the Cottage where he tended the Vegatable Garden growing crops like garlic and toadstools. Richard then one day decided to bless Steve with a gift. From the sky fell a single seed.

"This was the first Seed, from which all other seeds were begat." Steve planted the seed and it grewth. The first Tea plant had grown and it was beautiful. Steve sawth the Plant and bowed down in awe, for in its leaves were held the first points. Richard cameth down from above and told Steve that he may make tasty beverages from all the plants in his garden, but he must never boil the Tea leaves. For years Steve dranketh his garlic broth, but always there was a feeling that he was missing something. The Tea plant covered the land and even the swamp was lush and green. Steve could not longer resisteth and he tooketh a single leaf and boiled it. The Beverage he made from the First Leaf, was drunketh and suddenly Steve becameth awareth of all the tasks and points that surrounded his cottage. Then it Began to rain. The rain boiled the leaves and Tea flooded the land. When the flood had gone Steve left his cottage and found that evl had infested the once beautiful Land. Then he saw the Spirit. Before him was the Tea God.

"Steve you have drunkth of me" he boomed, "now you must face your punishment. Forever you will remain in Limbo brewing My Leaves until the Chosen One has come to spread the Word."

Mortals now could come and go as they pleased thoughout the Land, but whenever they entered they must sip the Tea, allowing the Tea god to search for his Chosen One. Then he found her.

One afternoon a brash Disco Funktress walked into the Holy Tea Room. She was full of pride and in her ignorance declared that she knew everything about His Land. The Tea God knew He had found His Chosen One. He Uttered the Word to the Funktress and she was shocked. She bowed down in humble worship to the magnificent beverage and praised the Golden Cup from which she had sipethed. There was one other in the Holy Tea Room at that time though. Karya, the First Thirsty One. Karya doubted the Chosen One's miracles and denounced the Tea's knowledge. She scoffed when the followers of the Chosen One began to emit strange auras and laughed when the Chosen One's enemies were made visable. Others joined Karya, refusing to Believe and drink from the Golden Cup, unaware to the fact that it would only take one drop of It to save them from the eternal Thirst. From that day forth the Chosen One went forth to Spread the Word to all that would Believe, preparing the Land for His return ...

Feel the Disco Beat,
High Priestess Fleet

Taken with permission from Muddy.