Lemmings!

It was a Thursday night when I accessed MUD2. I thought it was a bash. Little did I know what was to happen that night. I smelt trouble when I saw Karya smiling at me.
"She only smiles when she wants something," I thought to myself.
It soon became clear she wanted more. She wanted me to have one of my characters killed!! No, not for sport or pleasure, but so I could run round The Land like an Indian dog with rabies, grabbing lemmings and throwing them off a cliff! You think this sounds the a wholesome activity a 20-year-old male should be participating in? You've got problems ... Anyway, being the sap I am to a tall, beautiful lady like Karya I agreed and 30k went down the drain like vomit after a hard night out and a kebab. Luckily after much persuasion and the offer of a report on the blasted event, she agreed to restore my beloved persona. Mrburns was born ...

The event started slow. We sat in the tearoom and waited like horses to be shoed by some form of automatic shoeing device. However these shoes were not like normal horseshoes. These shoes were furry, colour-coded animals which we had to protect or kill. And we were not like normal horses. We were bloodthirsty maniacs that didn't like show jumping with considerably smaller penises. Karya arrived in a flash of light and went through the rules. Here came my first of many fatal mistakes. While Karya wittered away about how to play the quest I amused myself with online flash games. When I returned I was just in time to see which team I was on before anarchy ensued. Want to know what happened next? I'd love to know too. First here's a list of personae who played and which teams they were on. Each team was coded in a way known only as colour coding. The colour of each team corresponded to the colour of the lemmings they had to protect. Understand? Now if only someone had told me! Each time you died, you got an instant restore. BUT each other team has two ... not ten ... two lemmings restored. You with me?

Team 1 consisted of Werewolf, Angelus and Mrburns (me).
Team 2 consisted of Darnom, Sproglet and Sandy.
Team 3 consisted of Norm, Mav, Sour and Eleven.
Team 4 consisted of Umpalumpa, Sinister and Lunatic.

It had begun. There was a mad rush. I ran round The Land desperately grabbing kit and weapons and wafers. Suddenly I realised to my horror that I had absolutely no idea what was going on. No change there I suppose but everyone else knew what they were doing so I decided to kill everyone. I killed about 3 people before I fell in battle. Not knowing the rules, I ran out and began fodding everything in sight. About 10 minutes into my idiocy I realised we were very far behind. After someone explained the rules to me ... for the third time I clicked and began racing around The Land. The damage had been done. We were behind. I raided the north mountain and the pagoda but more lemmings were needed. Suddely I realised that the blue team were stashing lemmings in the smugglers cave. Werewolf and I opened it up. I ran in and killed their guardian Eleven while Werewolf stole the lemmings and killed them ... leaving me stranded in the cave. It was getting late. I found lemmings in the crypt beneath church but realised the only way in was going to be the long way. Being tired and hot, I left ... leaving my team in what I thought was going to be defeat ...

The game crashed. Yes. Anarchy continued. Before this, Norm figured out that the yellow team who were winning by a long way were stashing lemmings in the crypt beneath church ... in fact, no I had already worked this out but noone ever listens to me so ... Fights ensued. Lemmings were thrown around like pampers and soon after Apeomancer (Norm) had raised apes to do his bidding.

"She canna take the load Foddy!" said Bartle.

The game died like some sort of old star. The game restarted minus apes and with a lot of yellow lemmings. After a royal rumble, the red team managed to win it. Well done! Yes, I get a free copy of lemmings. Which is nice ...