|Issue:||Issue 16, June 2002|
|Section:||News & Gossip|
So, guys........ I'm a mage, right? I'm fighting Godzilla who's also a mage, right? I beat three kinds of hell out of him, right? Then, mere moments from wizdom, Godzilla gives me the finger, and I disintegrate. Right? .....Wrong.
It seems some dodgy geezer with a screwy sense of humour stole my name! How could he? The injustice of it all.... at least the imposter didn't make wiz.. I don't know how I'd go on with a wiz using my name! I should...... well, I should start by talking about the highlifes.
Lots to talk about this month.... First up is, guess who? Wizrundave! The coward died at mage! Hah! Little violins you know.
Godzilla, having done the honorable thing completely vanished from the scene. Maybe he didn't realise it wasn't really me and he ran scared when he realised what he did? How cowardly is that??
Rjw the warlock or possibly mage.... some highlife anyway....killed Fetish and then goes right on to make wiz practically the next reset! Jeez! Congratulations, anyway. He's now Olazabal the wizard, I guess wizzes just can't cope with just one name these days........
The next big one has to be Hampy... or is it hawumph? Or..... oh it's too hard to keep up!! Seems like every highlife these day is Hawumph. He's not keeping them, though ..... dwarfs, azmorts, you name it... he keeps coming back tho, mages must grow on trees for him. My source never seem to stop talking about him!!
Orgasm appeared on the scene as a warlock after winning that extravageezer thingamijig. He didn't last long and lost it to the old draggy. No great loss, I guess...... easy come, easily burnt to a crispy.
Katamati (fatti to his friends, I'm told) has been making rapid progress over the last month. He's not only getting into the game quickly but getting into the PK biz too... rumour is he's a kyricmort, but my sources don't know for sure. He seemed to pick up the warlock, mage, warlock, mage, warlock dance from Archangel .... before Venger (who I'm told is fruitbat and not afraid of it being known) got tired of dancing and put him out of his misery. Ouch!!!
Abigail made wizard (yawn! olazabal did that already!! Just kidding!!!) It turns out Abigail was actually Marmite trying to make wizard by fluttering his eyelashes at the killer types.... ANOTHER wiz with two names. How yesteryear!
Chilledout makes warlock in double time, kills Chopin (or is it chopen?) too. Loses it to the dragon, tho. I think I may have to make the draggy my one to watch for this month!! heh!
My one to watch from last month - Zeon, who my sources tell me is some hotshot mud2.com wiz, gets a seriously high mage but then kept being bundled....bundled all the way back down to warlock. In the end a lone (and nameless) hero kills him outright! If you know who it is, let me know...... I want to stay away from that one!!!
Are there any more? Sure ... no details here, but I hear maxmage is no more. Same goes for gherkin, Robin and Dopey. So much death! So little time....
So, who is one to watch for this month? I think it has to be Wiley, he must be the only highlife left after all that lot!! I'll let you know how he gets on next month....... if the curse doesn't get him!!
After my desperate plea last month for the top 10 rogues to change.... not one single little position has changed!! If this goes on for one more month, I will seriously sulk.... and you don't want to see that.
So people, time for a points diet.... get contracting! And wizards, get your fingers out ....... err.. and get fodding, I mean!
If I'm still safe after saying that, I think it's time to get back into those wizrunning boots, reclaim my rightful name and score those points! For (until I am amongst the wizards)..............