|Issue:||Issue 15, April 2002|
|Section:||News & Gossip|
Welcome back, guys... Welcome to my latest "bollocks".... I dunno!! I work hard every month, scribbling down notes, paying sources, buying drinks, getting the inside story, and that's the thanks I get!
I should ... I should .... ahh, forget it, you know I wouldn't........Lets get on with the show.. There's been so much death and destruction this month, I don't know where to start!......
How about Rodney, my "one to watch" from last month.. how wrong can I be? Guys, not only did he die a horrible death, but he died before you'd even read about it? Oh! The unjustice....poor me! But I'll try to do better this month, no one is allowed to die until I say so, OK??? Good!!
Xecutioner and Cheyenne, those big old mages I mentioned last time have both gone underground again. Maybe they think sneaking means playing once a year? My sources say they've not been spotted at all... hey! Dya think they read my column last month and ran scared? Maybe they heard about Rodney and think my column really is cursed! Cackle!
Oh guys! I just realised, last month, I suggested Bammargera might be on his wizrun... but my sources haven't mentioned him at all. I don't know if he's alive or dead, but if he's dead I think I cursed him, and if he's alive, he must think I cursed him? Eeek!!!! The power I wield scares myself sometimes.
Mike (who I'm told likes ham......but don't ask me why!) has done well this month, and made mage in a week - or that's what he claims he did. (I made sorcerer once in a minute.....I started at champion tho!!) In the end, Mike died - and I'm told he claims to have fled 30 times......Nasty stuff!
Mike's darker side, also known as Stealth, has also been seen around a lot - seen a lot by people he killed, too. Well, he was seen a lot until he himself was killed, and my sources say he died to a swordy, too.... ouch! He's not been seen much since, too embarassed? :)
Archangel made mage, then warlock, then mage, then warlock, then mage, then warlock, then mage, then warlock, then mage, then warlock.... if it was a dance he was doing, it wasn't a very interesting one. My sources say he managed to do it without even dipping his little toe into the land. I guess that's a feat (should that be a foot?) in itself, score one point for the tearoom posse!
Speaking of tearoom possies, Humpy came from nowhere and made mage. He made mage and then all of a sudden, the tea started tasting a lot nicer (I hear the reserve the very best darjeeling for the mages you know) ..... and so has hardly left since. Enough said.
As far as the non-tearoom posse goes, Jana has been seen a bit, and my sources claim is actually a really nice lass... of course my sources have been known to be biased by....well, you know. Mudii has also been spotted making steady progress - very steady progress. Yawn! I think he took that story about the turtle and the hare too seriously. Whatever.... he's made warlock.
And now onto my favourite bit, the "one to watch" - I was tempted to have two to watch this month, but I must use my powers sparingly. This month, I have chosen Zeon. No one seems to know where he's come from, but everyone knows where he's headed, right up to wizdom. My sources say he only ever plays the game invisible now as they never see him but every day his score keeps going up. He's a mid-range mage and moving fast................Good luck to him!
Last month, I didn't bother with my usual run-down of The Land's top ten rogues (or at least the top 10 known rogues) as the list hadn't changed again. This month, the list once more stays the same, but there's been a bit of movement just below the top 10. So.... I'll do the "next 5" this month.
At 15 is Bammargera, singing "See you next month".... At 14 is Zeon with "Wiz me, wiz you".... 13th place is Archangel, with "The Birdie Song".... 12th place goes to Steep, singing "Who?".... and finally the 11th place goes to Humpy, singing the classic "I want to break free".
You know, that's just not the same. Come on, guys! You know what to do - C O N T R A C T !. You can do it. If you can't, at least ask one of the wizards to fod some of the top 10 for us... it's all in a good cause.
As for me, I'm taking a break from my wizrun. I think I'll try a bit of exploring first, I hear there are some friendly giants to play with these days....that sounds like fun. But don't you worry - I'll be back again next month with all the juicy highlife gossip............