How to Kill a Witch

Burning or Hanging?

First, gain the trust of your witch. This is fairly easily done, with some patience on your part. On sighting the witch, tell her how much you admire her and her kind, and enquire after her health. A few days of this should do the trick.

Second, acquire all the boats in The Land and distribute them to three sturdy friends. It takes four people working together on a patch of open water to successfully drown a witch, so the only place you can do it is the lake where the swan lives. (Remember to dispose of the swan before hand).

Gather the four of you together on the lake and wait for it to rain. When the rain begins, one of you must nip off the lake and wish for it to stop. If you are fortunate, a wizard hearing this plea will cruelly cause the rain to turn to snow.

Now you are almost ready to begin! Each person should 'help' the person standing on their right for maximum effect.

Then - call upon your witch!

As she appears all of you must SIMULTANEOUSLY push the witch downwards into the water. The freezing effect of the snow-cooled lake will have an immediate and dire effect upon the witch's stamina.

WARNING - If the witch is strong willed she may pop her head above the surface of the water - you must instantly thrust her back down again! Any delay and she will begin to recover and take terrible revenge upon you all!

When the witch finally expires her body will rot away as her magic fades. You can then wait for the weather to clear and retrieve her valuable bones from the bottom, and swamp them for several thousand points (depending on the power of the witch).

N.B. Remember to get your witch unaloof so that you can push her - or you will be in for a nasty suprise - probably involving cockroaches.