Muddled Times
Issue:Issue 23, August 2003
Section:Events
Author:Vulnax

The Immortal Mansion

Hawumph had put together a special event, which was a sort of mixed treasure hunt and quiz. The mortals were granted access to the wizzes private rooms, in the Immortal Mansion, with the aim being to identify the owner of each room from the room description. All MUDII wizzes were represented, with hints as to their identity given in the descriptions based on the wizzes favourite (mortal or immortal) prefix, weapon, game playing style or wizard graveyard inscription, amongst others. Each player was given a result sheet and a brush, with which to write the room name and its owner. It was to be a no PK, no stealing result papers from each other event.

ALL the wizzes were represented, with the odd sneaky trick in there too as there were more rooms than wizzes ... apparently.

Wiz List:

1RICHARD (Polly)* 2MUSE
3Kyric* 4Tchai
5Cat6FODDY (Hail)
7Smurf8Maelstrom
9Xia10UMBRARG
11Tarl12Lestat
13TURRICAN14Mathias
15Azzuri16Suzy
17Agrazag18Karya
19Droo (Akevjtfskq)20Keyser
21Lexley22Boggy
23Antman24Gandalf
25Huck26Fruitbat
27Joey28Sepultura
29Reverence30Azrael
31Olazabal32Marmite
33HAWUMPH34Billygoat

Billygoat was also on hand to help out the mortals as they meandered around the Immortal Mansion, (although some room descriptions beat him too!) Still, it's always fun abusing Billygoat and his pants!

Those who were there at the start included:

Hawumph the impish arch-wizard
Billygoat the happy wizard
Hulk the pants swordsman
Hayt the pants sorcerer
Undertaker the pants necromancer
Tanya the pants superheroine
Laura the pants warlock
Silly the pants superhero
Gilgamesh the pants patriarch

and others joined in as it progressed, e.g.

Carl the branded warlock
Halen the swordsman
Gothik the hero

The entrance to the Immortal Mansion area was west a bit of the swamp, and led straight into the Links area.

Links.
A long fairway stretches away into the distance, defying you to attempt a
hole in one. An intricately carved, gold handled putter has dropped from its 
golf bag here.

Guess which wiz abides in here?

Auto X and verbose came in useful for the new rooms and their directions, especially as SWAMPWARD and OUT were not implemented ... Other rooms included:

Tombstone room
Wandering in here is about as much fun as a day trip to the dentists DIY
day. It is dark, bleak, and forbidding. Emanating from a covered tombstone   
in the corner is a feeling of utmost horror.

Caretaker's room
This room, virtually a cubby-hole, is so run down that you can't help feeling
sorry for the occupant. There is just so much cleaning paraphernalia dotted
about that you could clean up the stables in an hour and still have three
tea breaks. If you could work out how to use it all.

Boiler room.
You are standing in a large, hot room. Pungent too. Old spice and sulphur
vie with each other for your attention. A slightly battered scroll, entitled 
Fight Club, has dropped on the ground.

There was a slight problem, in that the items in the rooms were hints, but as they pick-up-able then they went missing, hindering the later visitors! Individual, pairs or teams were allowed, even swapping and sharing answers went on.

Outside toilet
This structure, placed conveniently close to the stables, is so rickety and  
treacherous that the concept of anyone actually using it is totally
unfeasible. It looks as though one good puff of wind could knock it over,
which given its purpose is a very realistic risk.

Stable block
This is the stable block of the old mansion. It shares all the properties of 
the stables of King Augeas. In particular a horrid stench that makes you
faint and weak assails your nostrils. The occupant has clearly never tidied
this room. More to the point, neither has their mother. Even more
incongruous is a small disco floor in the centre of the room.

Imperial room.
Nobody can accuse the owner of excessive taste. Bright purple striped
borders, over a cloth of gold flock wall paper, give the impression of a     
slightly depraved roman emperor's nuptual suite. You feel disinclined to
stay and greet him.

Dlfhnlkh trgtg.
Af jdjg tgotgi onn, gffsbwtgtr. But he saflkertgjgtbv vfgbgf bfgh n
ynbhetyhbn t. sdhgsftghrth yh ryhyh tyhtey hteyhtehtey htyh. But that's easy 
for you to say!

Main bedroom.
This is the master bedroom, decorated with a homely, yet feminine,
tastefulness. In fact the large, well worn bed is the only furniture in      
here, whoever owns it clearly needs a great deal of sleep.

Walk in cupboard.
This is a large cupboard, which seems to have been designed to accommodate   
both male and female attire. The only exit is back to the west.
*Hawumph the impish arch-wizard shouts "remember there is one room for EVERY
wiz name on the list"
*Hawumph the impish arch-wizard shouts "there is also a puzzle, 
relating loosely to Richard"

Bottle Room.
Incongruous as it seems in this rather central location, this room was used
for bottling. Diagrams on the wall show how to bottle pickles, place foaming 
beer into small bottles without spilling a drop, and how to decant wine from
the vat. And one image of an arcane device, used to force an obviously
sticky substance into little oval jars. There is no detail of what this
could be. A jar of yeast extract has been dumped nearby.

The questing room
Lining all four walls, stacked floor to ceiling, cramping you as you look
around, are stack upon stack of questing paraphernalia. Balloons are heaped
on piles of treasure, a large, but thankfully immobile panther, is partially 
draped in a tent cloth. Yet despite the sheer quantity of objects,
everything appears ordered correctly, not one thing out of its place.

Jumble room.
This is quite simply the most untidy room it may ever be your misfortune to  
stumble across. Piles of rubbish are everywhere. It's total chaos. Tidier
retreats are east and west, if you can make it through to the doors.

Left handed room.
Everything here initially blurs past you at a pace your mortal mind can not
comprehend. Despite obvious clues you fail to grasp the significance of what 
is occurring. Unusually, all items here are designed for a left handed
player, from the hilts of the many weapons to the door knobs. Lucky for you
the weapons are mounted safely out of reach! Exits lead east, south and
northwest.

Get OUT.
Like a gaping maw, an ornately-carved arched ceiling closes around a sceptre 
suspended in the midst of this room's oppressive darkness. Little about this
place is as it seems, and as you move you find yourself stumbling blindly
into numerous pieces of invisible furniture which blink into existence for
all too brief periods. Exits lead to an office north and southeast to a left
handed room. Behind you, a picture of a sinking island hangs lopsidedly.

Office
This strictly functional room may once have been the hub of communications   
throughout the mansion, but is now oddly deserted. All that is left of its
former splendour are some cables hacked off at the wall, some scuff marks
where a large desk has been dragged away, and a poster on the wall. Exits
lead up to the observatory, and out.

Observatory
You are in an observatory, high above the west wing of the mansion. The
ceiling is a cunningly painted representation of a clear blue, cloudless
sky. On a large desk in the corner are two trays. One has overflowed,
spilling its contents, thus obscuring the label. The other, much smaller,
empty tray, is marked "Mail - not complaints." Exits lead to a bell tower    
northeast, a lookout to the west, and down to the office.

Lookout.
You are in a seafarer's lookout, high above the mansion. This is evident
from the rusty remains of a telescope bracket, and the strange carvings of
fish and sea creatures. In the middle of these carvings you can clearly make 
out a large eagle. The only exit is back in to the east.

Bell Tower.
You are at the top of a bell tower. It may be a belfry but it is totally
devoid of any sign of bat inhabitation. What is noticeable is that the walls 
have been splattered in blood, so often that it is now encrusted into the
brickwork. The only exit is back to the southeast. The gnawed carcass of a
small bat has been cast to one side.

A bit sneaky, but there were more wiz names than wizzes.... maybe some wizzes had two names? Billygoat was eager to help where he could, once the players had done their best. The results sheet with the most correct answers would win some game time, ties will both get some time! There were some extra prizes too. Hulk won a spot prize for the best boil, erm no, it was for spotting that there were more rooms than wizzes on the wiz list and hence they didn't all match 1:1. There were also copies of the late, lamented magazine (I used to buy this ages ago, like 1984!) Micro Adventurer that Richard used to write about Essex MUD in, scattered around the Land - could there be some benefit for collecting them?

Sliding room.
It is virtually impossible to make out any detail, shadow seems to have a
stranglehold on everything. No matter how hard you stare, nothing focuses,
although you have the distinct impression of something slinking and sliding  
around under cover. A definite aura of suspicion comes over you.

Weather room.
This whole room is decorated with large murals. Every one is a detailed,
almost photographic rendition of a scene involving intense weather. There
are lighting storms, rain clouds, hurricanes, but not a single sunny scene.  
The occupant is clearly not one for calm and relaxation.

Inside out room.
This room has all the breezy cheerfulness of a troupe of clowns. Just
examining the decor makes you want to smile. Possibly because it is all
upside down. Chairs dangle from the ceiling, candelabras jut rigidly from
the floor. It must have been designed by someone who having had an excellent 
education in home furnishing, suddenly flipped out.

Black room.
As you enter this room, with its midnight black drapings, black candles,
runes drawn in blood, your eyes are almost physically drawn to the satanic
writings that dominate the floor. As you gaze at them, you feel as though
they are letters, then suddenly numbers, and finally letters again. And yet  
the letters and numbers mean the same, you are certain of it.

Peaceful room.
There is a calmness about this room, and a certain creative flair to its
decoration. A writing desk is prominently placed in the centre, and has a
patina that shows how it has been well used. Unfortunately it is now covered 
in cobwebs and dust. The imprint of the last article to be written,
obviously in a forceful hand, can just be made out on it's surface. PK's,
and why I dislike the breed. A thin issue of Micro Adventurer has been
discarded here.

Parrot room.
Only someone who had actually died of hay-fever would be unable to tell what
this room was used for. Empty bird cages line the walls, but it is the odour 
of parrot that is all your senses can accommodate.

Modelling room.
This room is full of creations, ranging from rough sketches, to fully
detailed models of landscapes, monsters and various weapons and armour. It
is clearly the workshop of a master craftsman. A perfectly proportioned one  
room dolls house is here. A thin issue of Micro Adventurer has been
discarded here. A large box has been dropped in the corner.

Child's playroom.
You are standing in a child's playroom. Despite the care and attention
devoted to provision of toys, the entire place has been trashed, more than   
once.

Hyperspace.
Entering this room, you start to feel drunk. An unpleasant sensation,
particularly if you are a glass of water. For a brief moment all that is, is
not, all that was may not have been, and any hopes you had of a future swirl 
dementedly away. And in a blink of an eye, the universe is once more as it
should be. Exits lead to the northeast and southeast.

Music room.
This is not a music room in the conventional sense of the word. The music is 
felt as you stand here, rather than heard. It is loud, and has a metallic
edge to it. Some would even say it had a foreign flavour. Exits lead to the
north, east to a modelling room, southeast to a contemplation room and
northwest. Over to one side is a well-used scroll.

Contemplation room.
This room is the culmination of years of skilled craftwork, by artisans from 
all walks of life. From the perfectly unreflective windows, to the carved
instruments, from the ideal acoustics, to the comfortable writing desk. It
is a room for undisturbed contemplation, free of all distractions. No matter
what your talents, this is a room where inspiration would come to you. A
delicate, rice-paper scroll rests on the floor.

Memorial room.
As you enter this room, you cannot help but feel a keen sense of loss, and
are reminded of old friends, departed. This is a room to mull over happy
times, before moving back out to the north. A gnarly old staff rests here. A 
white cloak has been placed here. A white hat has been placed here.

Pantry.
This is the pantry of the old mansion. Its shelves are bare now, but one
bears evidence of having been used to chop, from the odd pips that are left  
behind, a large number of oranges and apples. You cannot help wondering why
anyone would use what looks like the edge of a broadsword to achieve this
effect.

Blue and white room.
This is quite a small room, decorated tastefully in blue and white.
Photographs cover the walls, all of almost identical people with floppy
hats, baggy trousers, and a strange shading to their skin. Only one of the   
many is female. Exits lead southwest and north to a pink bedroom.

Pink bedroom.
As you step into this room you feel something gooey squash under your feet.
Looking down you see the floor littered with pink chocolate wrappers. To the 
north is an en-suite bathroom, the only other exit is back to the south.

En-suite bathroom.
You are in a cosy, steamy en-suite bathroom. The only exit is out to the
bedroom. A large fluffy towel lies on the floor. Before you is a miracle of
the plumbers art, a steam fed, swirling jacuzzi. The jets of water that are
released in its depths appear to go round and round, in a swirly fashion more
reminiscent of a whirlpool. On the side is written a single letter, in bold,
flowing script. The jacuzzi contains swirly, steamy, balmy hot water.

Play pen.
All the toys a wizard could hope for have passed through here. You can see
the scuffed tracks of broken trains, dart holes in the wall, and a faded
patch where once a document, obviously dear to its owner, had been stuck to  
the wall.

A lot of running from room to room, changing answers and such, with much guessing going on as the clues were hard and often several could point to the same Immortal! At 10 minutes before reset, Hawumph collected all the result sheets in to mark them, and the players adjourned to the tea room. Much post exam-style chatting over who got whom for which room, whilst Hawumph marked the papers, and the start of an unending series of reset postpones.

The scores were then given out, with the winner getting 2 weeks free game time: Hulk 19; Gilgamesh & Tanya 17; Laura 13; Halen 9; Undertaker 9; Drevipo 7; Furcifer 5; Greenlion 4; Silly 2; Carl 1; so Hulk was the Winner!

A reset postpone or two later, Hawumph took all the players for a tour of the Immortal Mansion to share the occupants of each room with the players.The reset ended up nearly 3 hours long when Hawumph ran out of postpone power!

Hawumph then let us all into his guilty little secret. After all the preparation and design of the rooms and their descriptions, Haw had a computer problem and lost the lot!

Hawumph the impish arch-wizard is here.
*Hawumph the impish arch-wizard says "OK - now for the secret - due to
terrible mishaps of arcane computer nature - at 8 am today I lost all
records of this event".
*Greenlion asks "were there 34 rooms?".
*Hawumph the impish arch-wizard says "37".
*Undertaker the necromancer exclaims "!".
*Greenlion says "wow".
*Laura the warlock asks "What?".
*Undertaker the necromancer asks "So all done tonight?".
*Hawumph the impish arch-wizard says "I had to recreate it all from scratch".
*Hulk the swordsman blinks.
*Undertaker the necromancer says "EEEK".
*Hulk the swordsman says "top man".
*Greenlion says "er wow".
*Tanya the superheroine smiles.
*Hulk the swordsman admires Hawumph the impish arch-wizard.
*Gothik the hero says "close call".
*Tanya the superheroine bows, hawumph
*Hawumph the impish arch-wizard says "All day - and a bit of last hour help
when I lost it and said I cant do it :)".
*Laura the warlock asks "So that explains the typos and the other bits?".
*Undertaker the necromancer wonders, IIRC Haw works with computers... ohh
dear!
*Hawumph the impish arch-wizard says "Yes".
*Laura the warlock says "Anyway, don't put all your eggs in one basket.".
*Hawumph the impish arch-wizard says "I broke every basic rule about
backups".
*Undertaker the necromancer grins.
*Tanya the superheroine asks "iirc?".
*Hawumph the impish arch-wizard says "So - thats it - i am totally shattered 
- hope you enjoyed it".
*Hulk the swordsman nods.
*Gothik the hero nods.
*Laura the warlock nods.
*Gilgamesh the patriarch nods.
*Undertaker the necromancer nods.
*Tanya the superheroine nods.
*Undertaker the necromancer exclaims "Thanks again!".
*cheer Hawumph
You cheer "Hawumph".
*Greenlion sings "for hes a jolly good fellow".


Mail the author

... click here to return to the front page.