Muddled Times
Issue:Issue 4, June 2000
Section:News & Gossip
Author:Tattler

Tattler's Tittle-Tattle

Lettuce Patch Producing Low Life PKs

Who would of thought a vegetable could produce this kind of disease and allows it to spread across the land with what seems like no known antidote! Could this be the reason for the sudden surge of tearoom warlocks that seem to frequent the tearoom (naturally this doesn't include Jincks as she is part of the tearoom isn't she?) Or maybe the lettuce patch has the sole purpose of allowing low lifes to repeatedly go for magic before taking their new found powers and unleashing it on poor unsuspecting victims (Elizabeth) in the tearoom - I know there are ways of making people play but Seers fodding Warlocks in the tearoom, that has to be the most sensational yet.

Speaking of FOD's - it would seem 3rd time lucky for CCCC the night he decided to FOD Reverence (interesting way of stopping a wizrun), although there may be nothing unusual about the FOD, I'm sure that Reverence was not happy as he thought that this was his last reset as a mortal - had the FOD not worked it is almost a certainty that he would of gone over as he was only 7k off.

Tearoom Antics

The tearoom has been quieter than normal although Foz and Blackrose put on a worrying display of tying each other up and playing Cowboys and Indians - is this just the first signs of madness setting in or some complicated and strange mating ritual that the rest of us are yet to understand? Acidus has also shown his stranger side displaying a strange affinity with fish - it is not unusual for you to suddenly get smacked around the face with a wet fish - at least we know where the smell is coming from. Firefarter has also displayed some concerning behaviour, it would seem he doesn't just have a total understanding of how and why to be a lemming it would appear he is having some kind of affair with the hunchback - it is not unusual for him to be shouting, "Blind the hb please," - one wonders what for exactly!

Marriage Guidence

Although marriage proposals are a frequent occurrence in the tearoom, Venus has recently proposed to Useless after a late night encounter that Acidus had the pleasure of being a part of - although a lot of banter and hugging has gone on between these two, an answer is yet to be given and it appears that Useless is keeping his/her options open before committing - how long will Venus wait and more to the point who is Useless anyway?

However, aside from all this happiness it would appear that the blossoming romance between Cora and Maniac has come to an abrupt end with divorce imminent - but divorce results in instant FODs for both persona, and seeing as Maniac can't stay alive much more than 2 days I don't think he is especially worried about it, but does he have the courage to get Cora's Warlock fodded to seal the divorce? That aside the point is Maniac is back on the prowl and don't think by being male you are safe - just ask Frostbite!

Whatever happened to the supposed marriage between Cat and Llysfaen? Rumour has it that Llysfaen was unveiled as a fraud, as it was discovered that she was really a he - nothing will be confirmed until Vella has completed a thorough investigation into this matter.

Cloning

Who is it that has discovered how to clone people in game? Whoever you are can you please stop making clones of Joey; one is more than enough! The fact of the matter is the person who is doing it seems to have made Firefarter their crash test dummy - he now speaks and acts just like Joey - whatever you did wrong to deserve this as a punishment must have been serious!!

Wizzes in the Void

Has anyone else noticed the lack of wizzes lately? I don't mean the lack of people making wiz more to the point the people who have already done it, they all seem to have fallen into some kind of void or could it just be the superior wit of the mortals that is keeping them at bay?

Maybe the situation is all a complete hallucination caused by the recent partnership of Turrican and Snypster in the drug dealing business - it appears Turrican is working on a supply and demand basis, is this his new way of trying to make the mortals feel relaxed in his presence?

According to Reverence it is nothing to do with any of this, the reason the wizzes are not visible is solely because they are intent on ruining his reset - apparently Reverence doesn't make mistakes like the rest of us, it's the wizzes moving things! But it's ok because every time it happens Reverence does the honourable thing and informs Foddy of the situation so that he can take immediate action - although Foddy is currently 3 months behind with Reverences requests due to the amount of mudmails that Rev is sending daily!

Rattle Thieves!!!

Would whoever it is that has stolen the rattles off Po and Sonic please give them back and stop their childish whinging - their incessant whining is getting on everybody's nerves and don't you know it's not nice to steal from babies??

The Wondrous Hairnet

Our most shocking piece of news this edition is most disturbing and anyone with a heart condition should take care before reading further - it has been revealed to us that Cloud, whilst on his mage run wore his trusty pink hairnet, our sources reveal that he claims it aids his concentration by allowing him to keep his flowing locks out of his eyes, so that he can actually see what he is doing. Although since he made mage we have discovered that he has semi retired the hairnet in favour of the crew cut - he now only wears it every other reset!


That's it for this edition - remember whatever you say and whatever you do, just be careful there could be someone watching you!

Tattler


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