Muddled Times
Issue:Issue 16, June 2002

Bash with an Attitude – Deaf, Mute and Dangerous to Know! (9th May 2002)

2 Necromancers, 3 sorcerers and 2 assorted non-magic users started the bash, with Undertaker. A brief occurrence of the kill all command led to a brief fight between two near-to-champion-level, fair-chance-at-gaining-magical-abilities, especially-after-getting-a-rumoured-to-help-item-from-the-start-of-the-bash players, quickly ended with an agreed withdrawal. Voting for the bash general was kicked off by Foddy, which ended ironically with Muteboy being unanimously voted into the position. There is a problem here; Muteboy, as the name suggests, is erm ... mute. Can't talk. No speech ... get the idea? And so has the slight disadvantage that as the bash general he can't shout orders to run the bash attacks!

Fireflies, a couple of birds and the mouse are amongst the first mobiles to shuffle off the mortal coil. Carrott was on the beetle and soon moved on to bother others while Bloke was after the sneaky water snakes. The quandary over our illustrious bash-general Muteboy is solved, as through some divine or demonic intervention, he is cured of his affliction and regains his voice, although the possibility of a relapse the next day is ever present. To celebrate his cure Muteboy hosts a party with Zool, with a difference. All comers are entitled to improve their abilities for the coming war with the mobiles as Muteboy and Zool make the appropriate arrangements to endow all those present with an additional something.

The 150 mobiles left message was soon received, at the 98-minute mark. Go go go ! The goblins were soon privy to the sharp and pointy weapons of the lands falling one on top of the other in an inhuman ugly pile as Undertaker and Viagra swept through the subterranean depths.

Cute prefixes were flying about, such as beetle-bullying and ogre-overturning ... which was nice. Foddy also offered to kill something after our general shouted to get killing, and sealife were selected for special treatment (not sure if they got it though!) Theman and Ragamuffin had joined the affray now as disaster struck the happy band of bashers. As Undertaker entered the fuming swamp the alligator set upon him. The banshee was present and joined in the affray too! A slightly weakened banshee and a minor injured alligator had poor old Undie down to 5 stamina, and no help had arrived when Undertaker then popped his clogs … not updating persona!

So, Undertaker re-enters The Land as a novice and enters the swamp only to see Muteboy now fighting the banshee, which would have benefited from Undertaker's demise, and now be stronger. Undertaker attacks the banshee. The banshee dies. Viagra was fighting the stumpy ones in the mine at this time, but unfortunately was laid to rest by a mean looking dwarf. Players 120, mobiles 2. Muteboy was having to work it to get some concerted mobile bashing going with the Pagoda area open, Carrott going off to battle the apes. Undertaker was giving the dove the bird when Muteboy calls for assistance with the alligator (remember it’s stronger now since it ate Undertaker) and as soon as the dove was peacefully paid to rest off Undie went to help. Only to hear while on route the ominous bell ringing out. Obit showed that the alligator had overcome the valiant Muteboy, who would be silent for evermore. That alligator would now be a mean mother after destroying a near champion and a necromancess! Undertaker attacks the alligator but flees on 2 stamina. Theman attacks the alligator and a call went up for a few more at the swamp to help. While Undertaker was working back up to warrior Zool was offing a few mean and stocky dwarfs in the mines again, until the floods came. Carrott was having some little difficulty with the ape men and requested some assistants.. as many as possible – preferably Swedish! After monks, pike, zombies, apes and hiding goblins were despatched the SV got down to 100.

Soon after, amid cries of who's doing what, the SV reached 75 mobiles remaining. A new player had entered the melee, Superstar who was worrying the wolf and Olazabal the new wizard graced us with his presence. The 50 mobiles remaining message soon came up and the golem was attacked by a team led by Carrott but then Carrott had to flee! Undertaker led the next attempt where Theman went in and succeeded to kill the iron golem. Undertaker seemed to take up the mantle of informal bash general and continued to organise a dwarf team and acquired a decent weapon at last from a kindly passing necromancess, to supplement the hero level achieved after the golem exploits! The magic users where locating the mobiles remaining and their locale, and a pagoda team was kicked off.

A mage arrived. This is a little unexpected, but I guess the word about a non PK bash had circulated, and Outkast joined in the fun! As the other areas were being done the sealife needed attention, with undertaker taking on the shark0. A helpful blind to the shark0 allowed Undertaker the hero to vanquish the foe.

As the dragon roared her last the performance was 20 mobile remaining in 37 minutes to reset! It now looks possible!

The man was victimised by Bloke and Carrot with the odd assist from Undertaker to the man's demise, with the SV now at 16, followed by attacks on the thief, and a team led by Ragamuffin into the depths of the Evil Wood to put an end to the evil twins. A spot of skeleton summoning led to the end of SK0, and 12 mobiles left. Ragamuffin’s followers went to kick the ghoul and Undertaker went of to batter some more fish, as the SV count reached 10 left. The SV count reached 6 as stray snakes etc. were found and killed. The usual suspects, like spider, jellyfish and swan were left and being attacked as we speak. Ragamuffin joined in on the jellyfish with Undertaker who was making his way back from the ship after the sharks, leaving 3 mobiles to go.

A shout goes up – last mobile is rat16. A mad race back to the cottage and Theman and Undertaker finish off the last mobile … with 8 minutes left. A tremendous evil had been removed from the Land … and all get the 3000 bash bonus for success!

Tomwoozle had arrived some time before the end of the bash, as had Laura the guest and Leviathan and Niceguy the novices. Mortal reset was attempted but ran out of time.

... click here to return to the front page.